M IS FOR MORON

2011-12-22T22:24:00.000+08:00

No mood to blog even though I have loads of things in my mind that I want to say. It's has been weekssss since my last post. Just finished my 3 days of NPband DAY CAMP yesterday (supposed to be overnight though! Hahas! Obviously I didn't sleep over in school :P). I was soooo TIRED! Had a good sleep when I returned home yesterday.

More to come, my lovely friend~~

尽请期待 ! hahahhas!

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-11-01T22:54:00.000+08:00

I feel so sad and demoralized, in many things that I do and encountered.

I'm easily affected by these emotions and if I don't blog it out now, I have no idea how I'm going to focus on my homework or do my work. Or at least (MAYBE) it will make me feel better after I typed out how I feel. I just feel so troubled and frustrated. What's worse is that I'm procrastinating and these things just made it a perfect excuse for me to procrastinate. It's just the 3rd week of second semester and it's just my 1st year in Polytechnic! I don't know, even if I don't think about these things, my heart will feel equally heavy and uneasy too. Howwwwwwwwwwwww?

I'm just so messed up in my head now! Gotta get going on my work.
*sighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsigh*

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-10-26T17:00:00.000+08:00

My lovely friend, you'll be fine.
If you miss them, talk to them.
Go back and talk to them or talk over the phone :)
Just find someone to talk to and you'll definitely feel better.
Text me if you want to, i'll reply (but no guarantee it'll be immediate)
But whatever it is, just find people to talk to!
And one advice, keep ur things away in a more secretive place if you don't want invasion! That's what i did too!
Last but not least, have a great time with ur ... hahas! Last long okay! ^.^

All the best in EVERYTHING! :)

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-10-26T16:48:00.000+08:00

So H-A-N-D-S-O-M-E ! ♥ ♥ ♥

Jang Guen Suk is like so SHUAII! Hahas. He looks even better with short hair, i personally feel. He's the only celebrity that i will go crazy over. But also not that crazy. Just will find his songs/movies/dramas! Hahas! That's it. The most i did was buy his photo card (which i did ytd!). FIRST TIME so CRAZZZIE over celebrity. Hahas! In an interview, he said he wants to be NUMBER ONE in ASIA! And his challenge was to beat Jay Chou, Rain. Cos Rain is Korea Number 1 now. Hahas! Hopefully he can achieve his GOALSSS! :))) He's doing a new drama now. Can't wait for it! ;)

Im suppose to be doing my homework and study! Hahas! But im sidetracked! Isn't it nice??
G-L-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E ! <3

Alright, that's it for now. Have to continue with my work :(
My lovely friend, you can do it, whatever it is!
We can do it!! :) JIAYOUS in school & ALL other AREAS! ;)
Meet up soon~! :)

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-10-26T03:26:00.000+08:00

Children are COLOUR BLIND.

But my lecturer says we SHOULD NOT be COLOUR BLIND.

I have no idea why she says that but she mentioned this at her last statement:

"We should not be colour blind because we're not colour blind."

I understand wad she meant but i don't quite understand why she commented on that because this video is kind of promoting Racial Harmony- that our skin colours don't matter :)

MICHEAL JACKSON MEDLEY- Sam Tsui
Lecturer showed us this video of layering different songs during our 1st lecture.
It's super cool, isn't it? ;)
I just so love this semester's modules!
but of course, the assignments are harder and hv to DO and CARRY out lesson plans! :(
Meaning, we'll be teaching in our respective child care centres.
But am really enjoying the modules in Language Arts & Creative Arts & also Play in the Early Years!

THE CELLO SONG- The Piano Guys
This is so amazing and interesting! Can imagine myself playing violin with it!
Hahas! But sadly, i've not attended any violin practice ever since..... IDK!
LOLS!
& im going to tryout for NPband soon!
I can then earn more CCA pts! >.<

FLOWERS ARE RED- Harry Chapin
Flowers are red young man
Green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen~

There are so many colours in the rainbow
So many colours in the morning sun
So many colours in the flower
And i see every one~

It's quite sad right, restricting children's imagination and creativity *sigh* :(

NO MIRRORS IN MY NANA'S HOUSE
Nana ("Nana's" pronounced as "Na-nus" is the term for grandmother/nanny/caregiver in other cultures and countries.
And the beauty i saw in everything, the beauty and everything, was in her eyes~
The lyrics of this song is so meaningful. I just can't stop singing it. Hahas!

"This is a very good video for Visual Art" said my lecturer.
And i totally agree with it! :))
Something i've learnt through my tutorials:
Everyone is CREATIVE!
Creativity is not measured by how TALENTED you're.
Creativity is THINKING! :)

My LECTURERSSSS are GLEE lovers! Hahas!
They kept playing Glee songs etc.
And of course, im enjoying it too!
Oh, not to forget Taylor Swift too! Hahas!

And now, a video to just LAUGH!
Was introduced to this video by my lecturer during my tutorial too!
Our class had a good laugh! Hahas!
Though i don't like Friday by Rebecca Black but this version made quite a different style of it! It's so funny! Can't help it to LAUGH whenever i see this video! Lols!
Especially this cheeeena guy's expressions and how he said "SHIT!" in his NGs!
It's just so hilarious! don't mean to "laugh" at him though.
But it's just so HAHAHHAHAHAS~!
Oh, not to forget he has a short tongue or something.
He seriously have a problem with his pronunciation/phonics. It's so irritating!

My favourite parts of this video (which is also the parts that what make me laugh like hell!) :-
shing chi wu, shing chi wu- suppose to be xing qi wu (星期五）
出去玩，出去玩，哇！
出去玩，出去玩，嘿！

IM SO SORRY for not blogging for quite some time. Mainly because im LAZY and no time to uh! :/
Okay, so im gonna update you but it'll be quite brief because many many things happened in school and everyday. Some details i might have forgotten and it'll be super long if i post everything out. So yup, here it goes!!! :PP

Alright, my first week of school was GREAT! Awesome, i can say. Though im like super tired and shacked after every day's lessons because im still adapting to EARLY MORNING lessons (Mondays - Fridays), but overall not too bad. As you can see, im enjoying my lectures and tutorials! ;D
Okay, my lovely friend.. This is my TIMETABLE for this semester! :) DATE ME OKAY! Hahas!
But i've got piano lesson on Wednesday afternoons and also fyi, if im going for NP band, practice will be like Monday and Thursday 6.30pm - 9.30pm! :)
Oh, one more commitment: Deyi Symphonic Band (going back every Thursday afternoon too!)
Oh, one more thing (hahas!), Tuesdays are for my field practicum where i have to go down to child care centre to do my attachment from 9am - 4pm EVERY TUESDAYS! It's gonna be so tiring :X

25 October 2011:

Im dragged out of my bed (kind of but not totally) to just bring my younger sister for piano lesson because the car was sent for repair and had to take public transport instead. The most HATEFUL and DREADFUL part is, it freaking rained HEAVILY! Something super funny happened okay! So, it was raining so heavily and we bought the portable umbrella that we can keep in bag. After we took the lift down to the void deck, all of the sudden the wind was so strong! I mean REALLY STRONG! Then i was like shit! So strong how to walk to the bus stop and etc. Then we tried to step out of the block but the wind was freaking S-T-R-O-N-G so we quickly stepped back. Then we were also afraid the umbrella will spoil. Then my sister told my to hold higher part of the metal handle. Okay, so we tried to step out of the building again! OMG, i tell you! The wind was so strong that i couldn't even handle/ control the umbrella. We were literally about to be blown away by the wind, together with the umbrella can! Then the FUNNIEST part id the umbrella flew up! As in the cloth and metal parts were blown upwards can! HAHAHAHHAS! then we quickly went back in again. Then i was thinking of taking a cab there instead cos my sister was really going to be late if we were still unable to get to the bus stop! So we went back to our house again, and we changed to another umbrella, one that is stronger and durable! HAHAHS! but the umbrella that flew up didn't spoil, we pulled the thing down again but i don't think it can survive another heavy rain! Hahas, im sure it will really 100% spoil if another strong wind blows! HAHAS! So in the end we took the cab down to my piano teacher's house instead and she wasn't late! :)

I waited for her lesson to end and we took a bus down to my Dajie's workplace for ICE CREAM <3

then waited for my Dajie to off work and she wanted to go Island Creamery for MUDPIE! Gosh, so we headed there and then train-ed down to Bishan to buy my stuff after that. SIN-FOOD DAY!

Marble Slab @ Cluny Court, Bukit Timah

Island Cremery- Mudpie

So, i went Bishan POPULAR, my third home!!! And i bought a storybook, stickers and.... oh, and signed up for Popular membership! I should have done that 2 years ago! Hahas! But it's okay, i still visit my third home quite often now and then! :)

Then we went comics connection, my sister wanted to buy low kah wai's storybooks but Popular had no stocks, i think. So yup, went there but didn't find any too BUT i found JANG GUEN SUK'S PHOTO CARD! Hahas!

Jang Geun Suk- Photo taken by my sister (not very nice. hahas!). Gonna scan into my com tmr! :)

My mum didn't cooked dinner so had to settle on our own. So we ended up at Fairprice to buy ingredients for our dinner- gonna fix our own dinner :)

Cheesy Alfredo Pasta cooked on OUR OWN! :)

So we bought spaghetti, alfredo sauce and chicken meat back home. AND we used the self-payment counter to purchase our stuff! so cool~!!!! Hahahs!

Few photos from my Play in the Early Years module where we played different games.

Our "HOUSE" is taller than me!!!!

Our group built the TALLEST HOUSE! :DD
A-W-E-S-O-M-E and F-U-N

It was suppose to be Face Paint but we were having too much FUN! :)

Face-Painting! I was one of the "make-up artist"! Hahas!

Our very own unique Wall-E! Hahas! Gotta messy with those glue and paint!

We also made our own PLAYDO using flour, tartar sauce *eeew* (suppose to be cream of tartar which is in powdery form), water and food coulouring. It was F-F-F-U-U-U-N-N-N ! I have no idea how to describe it. Just FUN! :DDDDD

Alright, i'll post again. It's getting VERY EARLY! hahas! It's now 3.25am! Gotta sleep! :))

and

HAPPY DEEPAVALI! Hehes!

Till i post again,

Peijun :)

2011-09-29T14:28:00.000+08:00

Terrible SORE THROAT! As in REALLY SORE! The left part is totally swollen and the pain spreads through the whole area. So my right part is also pain! Even when i touch my left part of my neck, it hurts!

I have to take so long to swallow my saliva or water. Woah, can't imagine if i take solid food. How long will i need to chew and swallow them down??? I guess i will take lighter food these few days. The pain totally spoil my appetite. No mood to eat anyth! I have to even think super long what i want to eat =.=

& who to "blame"?? Virus from my mother! :'(
ARGH. *criescries*

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-09-28T00:19:00.000+08:00

ANNA BESSONOVA♥♥♥

She's just so AMAZING!

I spent the whole night just looking at her Olympics and Gala and Montage videos on YouTube.

She's just so GREAT at rhythmic gymnastic! The most graceful and beautiful rhythmic gymnast ever! ^.^

Sadly, she ended her Olympics career. I think she's a model or something now. Hmmm, whatever it is, she has never gave up on Gymnastic. She's still doing gymnastic, just not competing.

If only i didn't give up on Gymnastic. She would be my dream and motivation!

I am so determined to get back my flexibility! Grrrr!

Till i post again,

Peijun :)

2011-09-27T17:56:00.001+08:00

I regretted.

I should have continued gymnastics and not give up on it just because of some dumb reasons. Now, i can only admire it and not realise it.

See how easy i can give up on something. Same goes for dancing and not to forget wushu and violin too.

Im a quitter!

People who quits lose the game, and yea, im a loser!

I wish i can dance again. But with my current state, it's hard to be a good dancer anymore...

Till i post again,

Peijun :)

2011-09-27T03:12:00.000+08:00

Im starting to wonder if i have been posting too much details of my life onto this blog.

You have no idea how scary is technology and is the world now. Some professions, they do a thorough check on your background (that is including your personal blogs/ facebook, etc) before they employ you or work with you. So, how human rights are used here? I mean seriously, i don't think it's that bad of an idea to do a background check on people to make sure everything is alright BUT the most basic respect is gone and the trust is not there. Honestly speaking, i do admit that people can resort to all means for their own benefits and how frightening can materialistic stuff brings about a total change to a person. This is actually an issue that is going round the world. Not only that, i personally feel that expressing my feelings through blogging is absolutely fine but i would appreciate if viewers who view it could keep these to themselves and not make announcements about it.

This is a complicating matter which i can't put it into words. I've been feeling and thinking a lot lately but nothings is making sense to me.
The world is such an irony!

Then i would say again, where's the mutual trust between humans?
What is life....?

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-09-23T21:05:00.000+08:00

Self-denial is not right.

I told myself the result that i got finally matters to them. I made myself believe that it doesn't matter if it's because of the Scholarship money or just purely happy with my results, i told myself that it doesn't matter what underlies it. I am happy.

All these are not right. Im deceiving myself, totally. All they care is that i don't break the bond and have to pay compensation. I know they're happy because i meet the scholarship requirement. Deep inside, i know but still, i was hoping.... it wasn't.

Throughout my years of study, this is the first time i am so proud of my achievement. GPA of 3.8! The first time i score so well. Previously, all i was proud was my Chinese results. When i was in primary school, i was always the first in class for my Chinese. I was proud of myself then. In secondary, not so bad but i wasn't any top student. I was a borderline student failing maths, and getting average marks. I worked so hard. Finally, in Poly, i got 2 Distinctions, a 3.8... But all these, does it even matter now??

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-09-22T23:36:00.000+08:00

The song is Living to love you by Sarah Connor. Got to know this song through this video when i was just browsing through Youtube for Jang Geun Suk videos previously. Hahas. Fell in love with this song ^.^

Sarah Connor- Living To Love You

All we had was just one summer
Two lovers stroling in the park
But like they say the world keeps turning
As the leaves were falling we should fall apart

Now I'm waiting for the winter, na na na
To build my castle out of ice
And deep inside this massive building
There's a crystal lake of all the tears I cried

Baby for all my life
Don't you know that it's true
I'm living to love you
So baby don't think twice
If you feel what I feel
Trust your heart do what I do,
'cause I'm living to love you
Hmmmm I'm living to love you

When you're gone it's not forever
'cause you`re remaining in my heart
So tell me why I feel this aching
Every time I think of you when we're apart
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/sarah_connor/living_to_love_you.html ]
Baby for all my life
Don't you know that it's true
I'm living to love you
So baby don't think twice
If you feel what I feel
Trust your heart do what I do,
I'm living to love you ohhh yes

I admit that from time to time
I'm feeling insecure and think I'm gonna lose my mind
Don't let it show, no
Oh no, no, no, no, no hmm
I don't think I'll ever understand
That our loving should never have a happy end
So I'm really gonna try my best to let you know
To let you know

Baby for all my life
Don't you know that it's true
I'm living to love you
So baby don't think twice
If you feel what I feel
Trust your heart and do what I do

When the final day comes
I know the angels,
They will see my smile
And if they wanna know the reason
I will tell them why

Baby for all my life
Hoooo yes I'm living to love you

I just realised semester holiday is coming to an end soon. Previously i wanted time to pass faster so that i can quickly graduate. But now, im afraid of the new semester coming up. Im scared i can't maintain the same standard and grades. Plus im super lazy nowadays, especially since the holiday started. Pleaseeee help me...
Know why the sudden change? Because earlier today just saw my new timetable. everyday 9am start lesson except for Friday at 10am. & in one week i have 4 lectures. Last semester i only have 1 lecture per week! Imagine the sudden change? Hahas. I can imagine myself slacking and slacking during lectures. Gosh! That definitely cannot happen. I must stay awake throughout, HOPEFULLY~~ Hahas!

Yesterday night had the most scary time of my life! I CHOKED ON A BIG PIECE OF ICE! & the weird thing is i don't usually eat ice but yesterday i ate it! Hahas! LUCKY IT WAS ICE AND NOT SOME OTHER SOLID FOOD! *phew* I was actually sucking the ice and i dunno how it happened, the next moment, the whole piece of ice was down my throat! I was so nervous and scared can! Then my father say swallow down then i was thinking so big piece how to??!!! But i tried then cos too big piece i ended up coughing out the ice instead! OMG! I can't imagine i can be so stupid until i choke on ice!!! HAHAHAS~! Then after that my throat was a little uncomfortable but im perfectly fine now! Can't imagine if i choked on other food! At least ice will melt!!!

Okay, My plan for the rest of my holiday. Treat my 3 sisters to a meal. My Dajie wants NewYork. My Erjie wants to eat steamboat. My meimei, hmmm. i dunno? Perhaps Pepper Lunch? Hahas. See, have to spend so much on them! Hahas! But alright la. Though will spend money and will feel the pain but then again, it's okay! Money can be saved or earned and my scholarship money will come in again next semester. So i'll not be stingy with those money. Hahas. Money is not everything but we need money for everything! See!! Life's an irony. HAHAS!

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-09-22T01:27:00.000+08:00

Photos updates of my cousin's baby! ^.^

SO CUTEEEEEEE right! I know!! Hahas! Can't wait to carry and hug her when it's her first month!!! HAHAAS! So sad because my Bro just got ROM (喜事) and then it's not good to go near the baby- it's bad for the baby, especially when it's a girl. Chinese superstitious stuff. Hahas. So up till now, i haven seen the real life baby, only photos uploaded by my cousinssss. :(
However, life's an irony. It contradicts! While we have celebratory events, just few days ago, my father's 堂妹, was hospitalised and from what i know from my mother, she's still in ICU. Even though it's just relative but i will regard it as a close relative. Really close relative. My mother says it's best that we children don't go to the hospital- as you know it's superstitious stuff again but 宁可信其有 right plus im now not feeling very well. Best not to get in contact with my flu bug's friends over at the hospital! Hahas.

But thinking of all that have happened- my bro's ROM, hospitalisation of relative which we regard as our aunt, my good results, my scholarship (which my mother forbids me to tell the rest of my family which is my cousin and my aunts (father's sisters), even though my cousin will know from my fb! HAHAS! All the things i've posted on fb is like my life! ) I just realised i haven go to the temple and pay respect to my grandparents and my 大姑. Previously my family went but i wasnt free and didn't go. I think i missed twice or so of the praying. I really feel like going there to pray and tell them all the good things and bad things that have happened at home and to me. I want them to know how well i am doing in school despite my 2 elder sisters academic progress. I want them to feel proud even though they're not around anymore.

BUT

I don't know if we're allowed to go temple because as you know, we have 2喜事that have taken place at home so im not sure if i can visit the temple..

Alright, finish reading your "LOVE LETTER" for me! HAHAHAS! Enjoyed and had fun reading it :) the feeling of getting to know secrets and the life of my friends just make me so excited and exhilarated and brought me and rewind me back to Secondary school days- those days were the best! && i really mean the best of the best! ^.^ My dear friend, from what i infer, you're definitely having a special feeling (you know what i mean right!) but dun worry about it too much. Just let nature takes its course? Don't act indifferently or try to suppress your feelings and emotions. I believe in fate- what's meant to be yours is yours & what's not yours, you can't force it or snatch it in any way or form. Why not just open up?? You might be surprise at how it might be ;) In life, there'll sure be setbacks and falls which includes getting hurt, upset and etc. We are born with primary emotions that are emotions that is natural in human. But of course, these primary emotions include both POSITIVE & NEGATIVE emotions. Example of positive primary emotion is happy; negative primary emotion is angry/sad. We can't pretend they never exist because they do exist and they are in us. So don't be afraid of stepping forward and moving on with life. I can still remember, even until now, what Mrs Singh commented about me. There was this time she commented on all on our compos. Then for me, she said im staying on the safe side. My compo is those that are average. Those that will not fail but will not get good marks too. These words always appear in my mind. Then just recently i started to reflect back on what she said. She's right. I always choose to be on the safe side. & then, i came to this conclusion: I'm afraid of failures! I mean who is not right?? Hahas. But what i mean is that im not only afraid of failures, im also afraid of things that are not in my routine and in my cycle. Im afraid of "strangers", whether they are people, place or objects. I don't dare to try new things. Im scared. but once im exposed and get used to it, i will be too reliant and too trustful. For example is meeting new people and making friends. When i get comfortable with new people, some part of me will slowly let out things that i don't want people to know or things i try to hide but always fail. & i think that's how i fail in life and pull me further away from my dreams because i scared halfway through the journey, i realised i can't finish the journey and reach my destination or be good at it or succeed. That's me. & i guess, some part of you is just the same as me & im referring to your heart. Our heart is very fragile. You know why?? If we eat too much junk food, they give us high cholesterol, blood pressure, heart failures. If we get shock or too nervous, we get pain and out of breath and pumps faster then later you have heart attack! AHAHAS! I know im crapping but isn't it true?? That's physically. But as for emotionally, out hearts is the same, because our hearts are FRAGILE! Simple as it is ;)) Just continue with how you're now and see how things will progress. I guess that's how you maintain a relationship too, whether friendship or BGR. Actually, as you can see, you're expecting something right! Hahas. expecting calls, replies, concern and all. hmmmm?? See it? Hahas!

I have a secret for you too ^^ & it's really a SECRET because no one knows and you're going to be the first to know! :) I only keep this matter to myself, in my thoughts and in my heart. Sometimes, i also do hate myself for thinking about it. I guess i'll do the same and send it to your email one of these days! :) Im going to sleep soon! HAHAHAS!

Had an enjoyable lunch with you & Mingyong && also had a FUN-TASTIC session chatting ^.^v
We shall meet again- next is ILUMA alright!!!! HAHAHAS! ;)

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-09-16T19:07:00.000+08:00

Mr. Benjamin Yeo :)

Hahas! I like some STALKER eh! Hahas. I actually went FB to download these photos! Gosh. I feel like a perv! HAHAHS! But then again, can't help but feel so inspired and motivated whenever i see something related to him. He's a living example of what i want to be in the future... But that dream future has long moved away from me ever since i decided to take ECH. Hmmm. Still feel kinda pity about it but, i will not look back into the past but look forward and make the best out of whatever i have! :)) Who knows, i can be a GREAT pre-school teacher and a GREAT mother next time?? Lols!

But his existent still reminds me of what im truly am and what i really love. Perseverance is the KEY to success! WEEEEeeeee~ Gambatte!

Wish all my friends the very BEST in their life! Life is AMAZING!! :))

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-09-16T17:47:00.002+08:00

Can't wait to check my results online!! Hahahs! :DD

First time receiving exam results through Mail Postage! Cool! ^^

Just like those in dramas. Hahahs!

My Bro's ROM cum My Bro's Birthday (911 lols!)- 11.09.11

ROM @ Buddha Tooth Relic Temple

You can see 嫦娥still in the stomach! Hahas! Born just next day...

My Meimei && My Rings- given to us by our Mother :))

Unglam! :/

Lunch @ Lemon Grass Restaurant 09.09.11- Welcome Lunch for Bro Gf's Parents.

Junior Band Festival 2011- 09.09.11

Using MingYong's Polaroid Cam! :)

MingYong's DSLR!

Thanks Ms Foo for sending me home! :))

Edited by ME :) - immediately when i reached home that night!

Nobody at home... :(

嫦娥! Hahas! Mid Autum Baby 12.09.11- My cousin's baby JUST BORN!

-More Photos to be uploaded... Hahahs ^.^

SEMESTER 1 results out today! S-A-T-I-S-F-I-E-D && R-E-L-I-E-V-E-D! My grades are not so bad. At least i didn't fail the modules that i thought i would! Hahahs! Quite Happy. I was actually expecting a 3.5 because my scholarship requirement is 3.5 but unexpectedly, i acheived a 3.8 for my CGPA! ;D Well, at least i hit my target :) Next semester aiming for a 3.9!

Mingyong so good! He gotten a 3.9 la! 5 modules- 4As & 1B. Good right~ Hmmm, gonna aim for all As too for my next sem! Hehehes! ;)

While going NPal to check my results earlier today, i went to check my financial a/c too! Great to know that my scholarship money come in alrd! My allowance for first sem, laptop fees and miscellaneous fee all come in le! Hahahahs! Im thousands over dollars richer now! Hahahs! But then again, laptop fees will return to my father, parts of my allowance will also be given away. Then again, im not that rich actually! HAHAHAS!

These few days have been eating and eating and eating. Starting from last Friday all the way to Wednesday, Have been eating heavy meals! Gosh! Especially on Sunday- my Bro's ROM: heavy breakfast/lunch, lunch buffet && dinner buffet plus CHOCOLATE CAKE! CRAZYYYYY right! i know! LOLS!

I really need to freaking lose weight! Hahas! Terrible weight gain! && yesterday night, i found out a disgusting and horrible fact about myself with my sister while walking back home... Argh.. It shall remain as a secret! Gosh.. Hahahs!

MsChew aka Mrs Tan (^.^) actually started utilising the unlimited coupon i gave her on Teacher's Day! Hahas!
YIPPEE^^ Meeting my lovely friend this coming Tuesday for invigilation of Emaths mock paper at Deyi. :) Even though not meeting up to have fun, but still it's a kind of fun in another way!! ;)) Can't wait! It'll be better if Mh's not oversea at China. Then we can chat over a meal and relax~~ :))

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-08-30T00:32:00.000+08:00

Long ago photossss ;)

I'll start off my post with what happened on Thursday! :)
I went back Deyi for Band. It was an afternoon of joy && DISTRESS too! Hahas. Had fun playing the flute with the Band and my dearest section- FLUTE! ;) Enjoyed my time teaching my section the piece- Around the world in 80 measures! :) The piece that we played for 2009 Orientation (i think); the one that JY danced and Aidil wore CY's Scottish mini-skirt! HAHAAS! All those beautiful memories~ && I remember myself holding the Scotland country card (blue in colour!) Hahas. Amongst the fun and immersing myself in the music making, there was this problem that we (the Band) encountered. & im very disappointed in myself! THE PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN rhythm is tough! 12/8 beat. So i couldn't play && i got too nervous && uptight playing it, i rushed the quaver notes && MC had to stop. I mean i was not the only one rushing but i guess i played the most obvious since i was sitting at the corner, the sound will be very obvious. & me as an exmember.. How disappointing && MC stopped and talked about the rhythm while looking at me. So you see? How embarrassing! So disappointed.. Such easy rhythm compared to other parts of the piece. *sigh* What worse is because we had to share the score and i couldn't catch the rhythm so i was lost and since i cant really see the scores, i totally stopped and cant continue playing until the very last part where i managed to catch up. :((

THEREFORE, HENCE, CONSEQUENTLY,
at night when i was at home, i couldn't take it. Im the exmember and im suppose to help my section yet im also one of those who messed up the music. Grrr! So went youtube to search for the recording. && luckily, found this Japanese Band played it. So i listened to it over and over and over again for many many many many times. I even contacted YY who brought some original scores back home and suppose to photocopy them for the Band, to scan and send me the flute part! HAHAHAS! I know it's illegal but who cares right! Im not selling it or anyth. Hahas! So i've gotten the score and the recording! Yippee ^^ So while i listen to it, i follow the scores. & i managed to get the rhythm but not sure if it's correct for the front part because it sounded different from what MC hummed back in the BandRoom. But whatever it is, at least i know how the whole piece sounds like and how it flows :)) Proud of myself! If only i could put in all these effort for my studies too :X hahahas!

Oh ya, the Band is going Hong Kong Disneyland this November end. Cool right! But sadly i've got school & i can't absent because of my scholarship- need good attendance. && the trip is also very expensive! $1750 for 5 days && i've got no subsidies since im not in Deyi anymore :/ Heard that the school is heavily subsiding the Band. So ya, gonna miss that trip. So fortunate of them to be able to go overseas. If only it was 2 years back when im still Sec 3.. Humph! :(

Okay, these few days i've been very very very very UNHEALTHY! My body clock is totally out of sync. Hahahas! Been waking up late, only sleep when it's early in the morning! So this routine has been going for a few days. & yea, i dunno what im gonna do this holiday. && quite happy to say, i draw and planned my goals/targets for my Semester 2 of Poly. It's a long lisssssst && i hope to achieve all of it! :)

How i have spent my first week of holidays?? Hmmm. By watching dramas/movies on Funshion play computer games/ go online. Basically, using the COMPUTER! So no life right! *sigh* I want to go out of the house & walk walk also! Actually for the past few days i wanted to go running and exercise but always sleep until so late and the weather so humid and hot which turn me off! Haahhaas! So haven been exercising. Okaay, should really force myself up and adjust my body clock as well :)

My fingernails are lonnnnnng! Have piano lesson this coming Wednesday, haven't really been practising my pieces. I just sat there and play for awhile but for fun not practising :( && I want to leave long fingernails for 11 Sept- My bro's ROM. But guess, i have to cut it tomorrow so that i can practise on the piano and for my lesson on Wed :(( Took me so long to have the current length... Gonna put nail polish on that day but w/o long fingernail will be UGLY :((( Anyway, i don't like my bro's gf. Don't like my bro too! Long story... *sighsighsigh* My lovely friend, if we meet up, i'll tell you more! :))

These are the songs that i listened to recently! ;)

There are more but i cant upload the videos :/

We'll meet up real soon. IM SO HAPPY & jiayous for your exam (although you may not see this post anytime soon)!!!

GAMBATTE! FIGHTING! Lols :DD

Till i post again,

Peijun :)

2011-08-24T14:49:00.000+08:00

SEMESTER BREAK IS FINALLY HERE. ;)

One semester has passed. I actually don't quite believe that I have already studied for half a year. Time flies really freaking fast, seriously! My time all spent on assignments, and then after assignments are exams. But luckily, my course only have 2 examinable modules. Had my 2 papers on 19 & 20 Aug, last Friday and Saturday. I think I totally screwed up the 2nd paper. It was like doing AMATHS okay! I can't remember any freaking strategies/techniques or whatever thingy that is! I can feel the same feeling when I used to do Amaths paper-- that kind of lost feeling, hopeless and ARGHHHH feeling! I just fill up the blanks based on my own strategies that was just some bullshit stuff! I am still feeling the STRESS even now that my break has started! I think it's partly because of my Scholarship, && yea, I've got my PAP Community Foundation Scholarship.It's a scholarship that has to be renewed EVERY YEAR. Yea, so if I don't hit my 12 CCA pts excluding participation pts (currently ZERO) && do well for my academics, I can't renew it next year which means my parents will have to pay for the lump sum of school fees. Honestly speaking, I haven't really told any about this but ya, the financial status of my family now is not really stable because of certain reasons. && EVERY DAY, Im being asked the same freaking question. I can understand why they ask that but I HAVE FREAKING NO IDEA WHEN IT WILL BE TRANSFERRED OVER && I WILL BE GLAD THAT IF YOU COULD NOT RUSH ME LIKE AS IF I CAN RUSH THEM TO CREDIT IT TO ME! Grrr.

Not only these, Im also getting the stress from my fellow friends. They're like really hardworking && their memory is good. As you know, my memory isn't very good in memorising things- experienced it during Secondary school. For example, things taught the previous tutorials or lectures or just things that were taught, they can at least have a vague memory of it even though they dun really revise but some of them did revise. But the main point is, I won't even have any vague idea of it OR I don't pay attention in class at all which is not possible. OR maybe, I may be paying attention but nothing is going in! && one more thing is that they can really understand all the things taught and really understand. I mean understand is that they memorise and know how to apply it in real life and can explain them vividly. I did study, I tried my best but still, I CAN'T! I know it's my own problem, it has been there since Secondary School. That's why I can't excel in my studies. I did try different strategies to study for my exam this time but I guess, it's not useful at all.

Another thing might be my own expectations of myself, I guess. I really want to ACE all my modules & really do well && really be my family's 荣光 && help my 2 elder sister to fight for our honour and dignity. Know why? As you know my Dajie isn't very good in studying. She studied ITE, it's okay & then my Erjie she stopped studying Poly w/o telling anyone && we found it out only 1 or ard 2 years ago that she wasn't going to school but she claimed she did. Everyone was angry && disappointed in her but I know her reasons for doing so. So yup, I haven't told anyone about this. It's a secret. But ya, the point is because my cousin is a CHINESE TEACHER in CHIJ primary school. && Because she's the oldest in our family, my aunts etc. all dote on her alot when she was young && now that she's doing so well as a Teacher, of course, my sisters && me are being so called looked down upon. & her piano, she had her diploma but currently doing other diploma for it so ya, she's great && we're not. & because my 2 elder sister didn't manage to pass their Grade 8 piano they are being looked down upon. BUT LUCKILY, I PASSED MY GRADE 8 PIANO IN ONE TRY OKAY! IM PROUD OF THAT && FINALLY DID SOMETHING HONOURABLE AND PROUD FOR MY PARENTS AND MY SISTERS! Even my cousin only pass Grade 8 piano exam only after the 2nd or 3rd try. I only needed ONE TIME to get it over && done with! HAHAHAS! ;D That's why i'm working so hard. I don't want to be looked down upon, i want to show others that I CAN ALSO DO IT! Oh ya, & because my cousin is a Teacher, and im studying Early Childhood, my aunts had the misconceptions. & so thought & want me to follow her footsteps and go NIE to study and teach in Primary schools. Sorry to disappoint you all hor! I won't follow her footsteps, I'll also do well in my field of area- PRE-SCHOOL teaching! I don't need to PARROT her && be a Primary school teacher. I won't earn that well, SO? I want to be pre-school teacher is not because i want to earn alot, I WANT TO INSPIRE AND BUILD STRONG FOUNDATION IN CHILDREN okay! Although money is important to survive but im not so money minded as you! BLEAHX! && another thing im super proud is that I GOT SCHOLARSHIP && SHE HAD NONE OKAY! You know the significance of a Scholarship?? HAHAHAS! But then, my mother doesn't want me to BOAST about the scholarship. so ya, still happy that i win her in other areas! ;)

So ya, have many problems going on within my family so ya. Whatever! Hmmm. Suddenly have this numb feeling and sour feeling in my heart now. Have this numb feeling all over my body also. Okay, i really feel like crying it out and all but no, i wont. As what i'll always do, i will play the piano! :)

That's it COMPLAINING for now.

Even my semester break has started, im still feeling all this stress in me. I want to get it out, so lovely friend, LET'S GO OUT! :)
Btw, the other time i went for dinner with Kim && Mh && ya, had a great dinner. Though we didn't chat much but ya, it just feels so nice to see each other and able to talk to each other face to face. It just feels so different! :)

HERE'S OUR PHOTOS OF OUR DINNER AT STICKY RICE! ;) But sadly, Kim left after awhile when we settled down at mac after our dinner. :(

MEET UP SOON, my lovely friend :)
That's about my post for now. Will post often, no worries! ;)

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-07-18T10:14:00.000+08:00

Hey my lovely friend, you know who you're! :)

Haven't been updating my blog & just visited ur blog. You're having a great time of ur life uh? Hahas! Who's the mysterious "HE" you're talking about in ur blog?? Hahas! UPDATE ME WITH IT!

I'm really busy this few weeks. I missed many of ur posts! I'll update u with my latest updates alright! ;) Hope everything's fine for you. & our meet up with IRSDMP! Hahas. Mh & me hv yet to pass you ur b'dae pressie too!! It's been months- lying at Mh's house! Hahas.

Holiday's coming soooooon~ Must meet up okay! I booked first! ;)) Must leave slots for me. We have yet to go on our photography trip too!! Must remember our "AMOREGRI" too. I really really miss youuuuu. It's like we're in 2 different parts of the world even though we're in a little red dot & staying quite near to each other! :((

&&&&& JIAYOUS in ur studies! We can do it! Law of attraction! :)) If you're tired, we';; always be there to lend a listening ear! :)) You know we will! See ya soon! ♥

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-05-09T12:58:00.000+08:00

It's been awhile since i last posted! Im pretty sure this lovely friend of mine (you know who you're!) is ANXIOUS && DYING to know how i've been! Hahas!

My first week of school...
I had 4 days of Orientation. I became CHAO DA after the 2nd day because we went to Botanic Gardens and stayed there for the whole day! No shelter! *sigh* 好不容易才能变白的! :((( Now im back to like 3 years ago when i was military band! Hahas! but not as bad as that time. LOLs! The Orientation wasn't that bad. i enjoyed myself but i still feel that it wasn't me. It wasn't my true self.. It was the fake smile and laughter in disguise again... It's always that mask that i've to put on- that's called socialising.. I hate socialising but that's life right! If you don't, how're you going to survive in this "friendly" society?! *sighsigh*

My second week if school...
School's finally started and it was ice-breaking and ice-breaking session. Hahas. I've decided not to be any rep or whatever. LOW PROFILE for poly! but then........ Later no cca points or leadership points eh. SIGH! I get sicked and tired of being a leader you know. In Deyi, already had enough of all those bad times. Even though there're fantastic and wonderful times but still, those little little setbacks just made me feel so drained out. Just the start of school, im doing fine and well. Able to cope. Hopefully it still carries on throughout the semester and till i graduate! HAahas! Which is kind of IMPOSSIBLE! My classmates are good but there are distinct groups already. hmmm. 3 distinct groups! im in the bigger group, the bigger group! Hahas! Aiya, they say must bond and cannot hv cliques but this kind of things, are unavoidable. But still, our class is still quite fun. But i've got to say, im alrd starting to dislike some of them! hahahas! Shhhh. But i'll try my best to mix around. Cannot discriminate or leave out anyone. I need to be neutral! I mean, even if i dun like i also cannot show out like in Secondary like that.. Hahas, just sit at the front and do my things. I dun want to give a damn to these POLITICS in CLASSROOM! Hahahahs! *hopefully*

My third week of school... (last week)
Im starting to float away. Hahas! I can pay attention to lessons but then.. I just have difficulty asking and answering good questions. && i seems to be procrastinating. Not seems to, is I AM PROCRASTINATING! Like seriously, dunno why i can be so diligent in secondary school but i cant now. Maybe it's because of those frequent common tests and MATHS HW EVERYDAY! Hahahs!
Then i had my Scholarship interview on thursday (5/5/11). It was an EPIC FAILED interview! Because i only applied for the NP scholarship and never apply for any donor's scholarship cos have 2 years bond. Then the interviewer first qn ask me wad scholarship i applied for and i said NP scholarship. Then he was like you know NP scholarship standard is very high and you might not get a chance. The chance of you getting it is very low. Then the other 2 lady like.... Then i was like i know. Like duh right.. hahahs! but i didn't say that la. DUH~ then he was like why didn't u apply any reason?? Then i didn't know how to ans and then i just blah out that im going into music. (bullshit!) Hahas! I said im going into music to get my diploma in music, piano. Then they blablabla. Then ask me to consider. That i said i have to go back home to discuss with my parents. Then the guy like "huh~ Have to go back ar" then i was like !@&%$#@! Then they ask me go out and call back then come in again! Then i was like *wth-ing* already! Then i called home and everyth. Then i went back in and then in the end i said okay. Then like so wth, the whole interview! I was so lost because like so unexpected! I didn't apply den ask me apply! =.= So the whole interview is like asking me to apply for donor's scholarship! I They never even ask me anyth about myself. & the guy only glance thru my GCE cert everyth den he return me so i can go out and call. so it's like so WTHHHH right! Then i was so confused and lost that i can't think properly. Only on my way home then i start to think back. I should have actually asked them if they have any questions about me lor.. Like seriously, so failed la the interview!!! *sighsighsigh* Don't think i can get the scholarship alrd la. So stupid! GRRRRR.

Okay, im so super irritated by the interview! I got so freaking affected by it la! Haiz! but nevermind. My mood got better when it was closer to the weekend! :D

On saturday, met up with JY && MH, together with my Dajie, we went to celebrate JY's Bdae @ Iluma, the sama sama jap restaurant! HAHAHAHS! Had a great time chatting and eating! I think JY was touched. I think so && HE SHOULD BE! Hahas! && hi, you.. yes you!!! You missed out on all the fun :(( Pls tell me when you're free so that i can meet up with you. ;D Mh had to go off at 3 to meet up with her friends at marina sq but in the end she left at 330. Then Jy, my sis and me wanted to catch a movie but end up JY wanted to go off. Cos i think he ps to go with my sis. Hahas! So alright, it was left with my dajie && me. So We wanted to go for dessert. Then we went back amk to fetch my younger sis && we went serangoon for ICECREAM! Hahahs!I think the shop name is Udders. WE CAN GO TRY IT SOMETIME SOON! :) Ordered Tiramisu && Rum&Raisin- is alcoholic! Hahas. Need to be over 18 years old to order that. My dajie prdered the tiramisu that one is the one with the highest alcoholic level! OMG! Hahas! I didn't know until i ate it. then was alittle drunk. Felt sleepy. Hahas! Then ordered snickers mars honeycomb caramel & strawberry fields flavour for my younger sis. Was damn full! Then we wanted to hv chicken wing from chomp chomp but hv to wait 1/2 hr so we went to buy tibits and walked home! HAhaas! It was a fun day! Then i watched the General Election broadcast on the TV. Slept at 3 plus 4am! Den im suppose to set my alram at 1230PM but i set it at 1230AM so when i woke up at 1150, i thought later the alram will ring so i cont to sleep! && who knows!! The next time i woke up was ard 3.15PM!!! HAHAHAS! Then i never even touch my hw or anyth luh! Then i still go laze around, play piano den start abit on my hw den had dinner--steamboat!!! then do this do that. && then lazy to do my work.. i completed and submitted my hw online only at ard 1245AM! LOLS! See, i so "hardworking && diligent" right! LOLS!

Okay, im now having my 3 hours break. Lesson starts at 2pm. Now slacking with my groups of friends. All using laptops! HAHAHS!

Anyway, MEIHUI want to tell you this-- SHE's DYING IN SCHOOL! Hahhas. && im still doing fine, workload not that hectic yet.. NOT YETTTTT. hahahhahas! && you dun worry too much about your life okay! Just let nature takes its course. The same, your life can't be always revolving around others. It may feel selfish but we have to take care of ourselves before others. Putting yourself before others is only at circumstances. Think for yourself first alright! && Dun let all those thoughts affect u. You must learn how to separate ur thoughts and always remember to tell yourself, "YOU'VE TO MOVE ON! && STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!" You must find a way to fight against those thoughts and feelings. Not saying that you've to be cold-blooded or anyth. Just do what you think is the best for both parties. Nothing in this world is perfect but we can make it to be almost perfect- that's to satisfy both sides. I belive you can do it. && you've been through before, use ur experience to tell u what to do ya? Nobody can do it for you or tell you what to do. you have to search within ur heart. Deep down inside you there's a part where you can find the right answer! JIAYOUs! We can always meet up after school or something for a chill out session! :))) I know u can && you will do it well! ;DD ALLTHE BEST! Let's all put in our 120% for all we do! Let's start afresh!!!! :))))))

Hope to see you soon~ Update again with more solid info ya! Hahahs!
Love ya! ><

Till i post again,
Peijun

2011-04-03T18:51:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I went back for Band. It was horrible. MC quoted this "You have to be very FOCUSED and not think about what you want to do after Band or what you want to eat for dinner later on", and I totally agree with that statement. I do remember that I did mentioned something similar when I was talking to the Camp Officers few weeks back. I told them that they have to put side all other things and come for Band with 120%. Band is just like any other subjects in school. It is just that you do not use formulas or do calculations; you read scores and you play with an instrument. To date, I still strongly believe in myself and my beliefs.

The most disappointing part is that, the Band just turn on deaf ears with MC's words. It was just around 1030 in the morning when MC talked to the Band and at 1450, when S asked me for help to conduct the full band, it just showed me how much the Band actually cares and how they truly feel about the SYF. It was not only disrespectful to S and myself, it was also very rude towards MC. They can actually play so well when MC conducted, why can't they treat S the same way? She's the BM- "second MC". I cannot understand. I just can't... I have already talked to the Band during their debrief yesterday. Hopefully they listened in to what I have said and act accordingly to what they should be doing. I can only hope for that much, at least...

Enough of Band already. I've been going back for Band lately that I totally forget that I will be taking my Grade 8 Piano Practical in June! I have not been practicing my piano these few days and I am only left with 1 month plus to perfect my playing (which is kind of impossible to do so). However, there's this saying- Nothing is impossible! Also, quoted from Mr Junt " I don't believe in talent, only hard work". Even though I am not that talented in playing piano, I am pretty sure I'll be of that level someday if i put in my hard work and do my best! Most importantly, I'll definitely pass my Grade 8 with flying colours! Weeee~ ;D

My whole body is currently aching. I am feeling pain at all parts of my body, especially my thighs and my arms. What makes it worse is that, I have just been practicing my piano and I cannot carry on with my practicing because my arms were hurting so badly and my arms were too tired to play the piano! Oh no! :(
The worst of all is that, I cannot play the piano from 7pm onwards. The television will be on and family members are going to watch it. With me at the side playing my loud (and irritating to them) pieces, I'll get scolded! After their shows, it will also be too late for me to practice because by that time, it'll be neighbours complaining and not family members scolding! LOLS.

Off to watch my dramas! :))) My vampire diaries... The new episodes are still not out yet! :(

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-04-02T03:07:00.000+08:00

I realised my post are all SINGLISH! Time for me to correct myself && start typing the RIGHT WAY! :) ENGLISH~~ I need to correct myself first before i can teach those "cute lil kiddies" at preschools right? Hahaas! && i need to write well... for my speech training and writing.. Blablalbla... Hahas! Opps. This post was suppose to be using correct english! Hahahs! Aiya, who cares right?! :)))) I'll start writing with good english in my next post onwards! :)))

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-04-02T02:58:00.000+08:00

Alright. My muscles aching now. Hahas. Actually only my right leg. Cos i went for Wushu training. my 2nd lesson. Okay, im going for training every friday night. Hope to get back my FLEXIBILITY && also able to do my continuous front flip AGAIN. I got a phobia! Last week, i did demo && den i did a few front flips. It wasn't good but i managed to flip over but the thing is, i never land properly. One of the flips, i landed on my knees! Omg! I fell for the FIRST TIME for so many years. So yesterday (friday) i didn't dare to do the flip, i scared i fall. I only managed to do 2... && it was very long for me to do the first one.. I was just so scared. Lucky, i landed nicely for my 2 flips. But still, my bone so stiff now.. My back got kind of pain after i flipped! Hahas! It shows me what? It's time for me to get back my flexibility! I can't even do a split now! My leg open up, not even a quarter can! LOLS! *sigh* Terrible! I used to be the most flexible one, yet, now my 2 elder sis plus my younger sister are actually more flexible than me. I mean, from the way they did their stretching, their legs can open bigger than mine! *jealous!!!* HAHAHS! Really time for me to do exercise and train! Hmmm.

Later going back for Band. Hoping for something more productive. Hopefully luh. I mean, i also get tired with going back every practice. I mean, i can actually stay home and practice my piano or sleep longer. But the thing is, i hope to be with the Band not physically but morally support them. Their SYF'11 is on 13 april. It's just a few days away from now plus sch is starting soon. It might be my last few times going back for Band also. I mean, i have the intention of leaving after their SYF but im not sure if i can take it by leaving. Hahas. My heart is still with DSB, if say want to leave, there's still some part of me that 舍不得 la! Hahas.

Okay, enough of Band. School's starting.. && im a little scared. I mean new environment luh! Plus there isn't really anyone that i know of. && not that i want to know them. I mean, i don't like socialising- that's why not looking forward to Orientation. Hahas. But the thing is, i might get to go into "Dialogue In The Dark" again!!! Thinking of that, im excited for orientation but not for the rest luh. I mean, if slowly get to know them like through lessons or what, im actually okay la. But something like orientation, i don't really like. That's why i didn't sign up for any camps luh... Okay, im a weird person, YES. I admit luh. Hahas! I mean im actually a very QUIET person la! HAHAHAHHAHAS! I mean, i usually don't talk unless is with my friends luh.. I mean, really close friends. Those that i always talk to or ppl im always together with. But even if we're always together, doesn't mean i'll talk alot with them also. HAHAHAHAS! It depends luh. I mean... All these, can't be helped luh. Im not really very talkative luh. HAHAHAHAHHAS! oh, && speaking of orientation, I HOPE THAT MY BLIND GUIDE FOR THE DIALOGUE IN THE DARK TOUR WILL BE 陈伟联!! Hahaahhahas. Hopefully uh. :))

Symphonic Band Room Key- B9 :)

I REALLY MISS BAND VERY MUCH.... VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY MUCHHHHHH! I mean, even though im going back every now && then, it just don't feel right. Maybe is because of the ppl there now. These few batches are so different from our batch la. Their attitude wise, && their enthusiasm for band is like very very very very bad && low.... Do the hard way, they complain && give attitude, EVERYTHING comes out. Go the soft approach, they will think they "win" && don't follow the rules and everything && then many problems start to arise. *sighsighsighsigh* What are they actually thinking? Actually i think it's cos of the internet now. They are giving bad examples && induce bad attitudes && behaviour in the youngsters nowadays. This is bad. I mean, im also an online person but at least i still can differentiate btw good and bad; right && wrong. But now the younger batch are getting from bad to worse. I mean really la.. They're seriously so pampered, spoilt, attitude very bad, all the bad things luh. They are like those school's kiddies that try to act "ah lians && ah bengs". Those that try to rebel and break rules and unhappy with everything type. LOLOLOLOLOLS! Can't stand them && i know i'll meet many of these type of ppl in Poly. I mean not really that kind, but i mean those likes to play alot and then like not the "noob && nerd" students that we see in secondary school. (those skirt super long, pants super high type). I mean, not trying to criticise anyth or anyone la. But i really get so tired facing these band peeps. Is really, getting on my nerves. *sighsighsigh*

Alright, i shall stop here. If not my this lovely friend who is reading this currently will get too tired and bored! Hahas! Anyway, HOW ARE YOU?? && HOW ABOUT OUR MEETUPS?? ;DDDD

Till i post again,

Peijun :)

2011-03-27T01:47:00.000+08:00

People do HOPE but HOPE doesn't last if you stop believing...

Yes, I've stopped believing in myself && in them. I've stopped believing in myself to be able to change a damn thing; I've stopped believing in them that they would give a damn to change a single thing.

I've tried my best. Every single time i went back, i was too hopeful. I have always gave my best to help them. Do anyone even appreciate?? I guess... Maybe only S && C?? I mean, i had enough of all this NONSENSE && RUBBISH! I don't need any repay or anything; I just wish and hope that at least someone will appreciate && send a thanks. I mean what's the point of saying "Thankyou Ma'am/Sir" after every practice when they don't even mean it?!! Just wished that someone in there sincerely Thank me for what I or we've done for them. Just a word of thanks can send a thousand smiles into my heart. But NO, none.. NO ONE DID! EVER!

Today. No, i meant yesterday (26/03/11; Saturday) i went back for Band. The first thing i heard was the most disheartening thing that i've ever heard. The news just came too fast. I mean, WE expected it but we were unsure && still waiting... But it really came too fast just like a TSUNAMI that had just hit my heart && rummage through it. "IT" IS CLOSING DOWN. It's confirmed! Is a real news, not any rumour or guessing or suspicion! If the Band doesn't get a GOLD or even better, it's a gone case... WE LOST! && WE LOST IN THE MOST HUMILIATING WAY! I mean if the Band members are good and they were united or at least they stand together, even if it's a defeat, they still lose honourably && proudly. With the current state, it's just a disgracing and embarrassing defeat! That's what && how i think of it...

When i heard the news.. my mind just went blank for a moment. STUNNED. I mean, all my efforts and hopes that i had put in ever since i graduate.. Every little act that i did just got flushed into the drain && out into the 7 oceans..

People do HOPE but HOPE doesn't last if you stop believing... && when others stop giving you the chance to HOPE, JUST FORGET IT!

Till i post again,

Peijun :'(

When sadness feels your heart...

2011-03-21T23:52:00.000+08:00

Just to update my lovely friend out there who is worried about me because i haven't been blogging. Hahas!

IM FINEEEEEEEEEE! ;D

Don't worry too much about me. Currently, i just got carried away by Band stuff. Many many things happened. Hopefully we can meet up soon uh! && Just ignore that Eugene luh! No use to keep thinking about him! He is just a PLAYBOY! PUI! Spit saliva at him! He don't deserve your worries and sadness! Just leave out of your life and pretend he never existed because that's obviously what he wants you to do! :))) Stay happy ya? Texts soon~! ;DD

Okay, today i spent alot of money on talking on the phone. Firstly i talked to Junyang && then Shirley. After that was Mingyong && then huijun. && Each call lasted more than 40mins. So it's like, i spent 4 hours or more on phone calls today! Lols. Frmo $60 plus drop to $40 plus dollars! COOL~~~ =.=

Okay, i felt so good after talking to Huijun even though it's like just telling her everything. I already felt that she was solving everything! Hahas! It feels great! Im glad to have known Huijun! GOH HUIJUN, I LOVE YOU!!!! :)))) Okay, im not les, obviously! Hahas! But i just love huijun so much.. Everytime i talk to her, i just feel so relieve and great! I find comfort in talking to her! Hahas.

Though im feeling relieve but my mind is still whirling and whirling! All those frustrating stuff! I'll get it out of my head ASAP!!!! Anyway, 13 april, i'll just tolerate and do my best up until then... Who cxares right? Nobody actually appreciates what we've done.... Maybe except S. So, i will 拍拍屁股走人 after 13 April! Because i realised that i've lost my purpose. && I actually dunno why i go back for... But i still love Deyi Symphonic Band no matter what happens. It will still remain in my heart for as long as im still breathing on this Earth..

Sigh! homework, there's like Friday to Wednesdat for them to do yet, they are blaming the camp for all their undone work?! LOLS! Funny! I don't see that happening to us, even have, we also didn't complain as you all did! FUNNY! Okay, i shall stop scolding them but i really @#$%^&*&^%$#@!~@#$%^*& AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! FML! FTL! Shits! Im scolding vulgarities again! =.=

Tmr meeting Huijun && Mingyong! :))) *lovesloves* so long never see huijun le!!! Hahas! :))))))

Till i post again,

Peijun :)

EVERYTHING WAS MY FAULT!

2011-03-21T01:10:00.000+08:00

Yes, everything was my fault because i didn't do well. Is not anyone's fault. Everything was because of me, that's why everything cocked up from the beginning! MY FAULT ALRIGHT! My fault, my mistake, all was because i didn't manage well and didn't advice properly. It was because of my negligence! I'm just so pissed and angry! I didn't feel so angry at the beginning but now, i am! It's like adding ice to a cup filled with water to the brim && the water just flows out immediately!! Im already angry but when i saw the text, i felt so pissed and angrier! How can you question me like this when you don't even know what i did?!!!!! I'm just so frustrated by everything and at anything yet, this text just came to me out of the blue! You blaming me now???? Then i can also do the same right? Why did you do that? what the hell, SERIOUSLY!

Fine, im just trying to give excuses. Yes, i am! Im just so F***ING killing myself with all this SHIT! Im really... PISSSSSSSSSSSSED to the MAXXXXXXXXXXX!

Whatever okay! Just FML! Im just going to take delight in my future- REMINISCING THE PAST, REFLECTING ON THE PRESENT && REJOICE IN THE FUTURE!

damn this post and my life. This post is seriously full of vulgarities! Grrrrr! Never felt this way and scold so many vulgarities in such a long time! !@#$%^&)(*&^%$#@! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

2011-03-01T00:55:00.000+08:00

I need to give my 120% too! :)

I miss all my friends.. Like how Zihui described- everyth we do just reminds us of people around us. Me too, im always thinking about the past.. How we used to be...

Yesterday piano lesson was quite a disastrous. Shall not elaborate! SHALL WORK HARD! NO TIME TO SLACK! CANNOT BE LAZY! The exam cost me $371! So ex! I must && i will pass the exam with flying colours~~ :)))

Off i go~~

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-02-28T02:05:00.000+08:00

Went back for Band on Saturday. They went Bedok Green Secondary School for a music exchange. I can say it was a horrible day for me && for the Band too. They were totally demoralised. Indeed, they sounded the worst up there but whatever it is, my heart is still with them && always be. I know they can do it. They just didn't bring the best out from them. I hope they've learnt a lesson from whatever has happened on Saturday. Had a talk with them after they came back to school. Actually i intended to say much more things but as usual, i always forget what i wanted to say. But whatever it is, hope that the Band got the message conveyed. I really hope they'll wake up && do their best. These few days, my head was filled with Band and piano, mostly Band. I kind of forget all the unhappy things.

On Saturday i also went to Paragon to pay my exam fees for my Grade 8 practical exam. I used my own money to pay for it && i hope i'll get at least a merit for my exam. To get a pass, i must score a 60/100. I really do hope i'll pass my exam && i know i will. I will make them proud && of course, the exam is EXPENSIVE! I don't want to waste my money && retake the exam. But, THAT WILL DEFINITELY NOT HAPPEN! Im gonna score well for it! :))) Anw, thanks MingYong for accompanying there :)

My lappy was discharged from hospital also on Saturday. Saturday really... many things happened. But im not a least happy or anyth. I almost forgot that this laptop actually existed! LOLS. I asked my Erjie to help me download all the necessary things. I was too tired && lazy! Hahas. && then today.. No, i mean yesterday (Sunday), I found out that my wireless can't connect. Must have the cable! && worst thing is... I plug in the earpiece && it was still playing with SPEAKERS! OMG! The audio jack has a problem. && then i thought my lappy's bluetooth got a prob && then found out is actually my phone! My phone's bluetooth is the one that has problem! OMG! How can all these things happen after i repaired my lappy?!!!! WTH! *sighsigh*

But whatever it is the case, i don't feel anyth for my lappy anymore.. that's so sad! Im like... WHATEVER! Im going to leave to my Dajie to bring my laptop back to that damn shop for repair again!

I didn't really practice for my piano this week. Has been going back band, that's why. && im really lazy to practice. Oh no! This is a bad thing. *sighsighsighsigh* Having lesson later in the afternoon && i haven set a tempo for my first exam piece! This is bad. Am also going for morning exercise later.. hmmm.

Im tired! shall stop here. Hahas.

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-02-25T02:00:00.000+08:00

Yesterday morning went for morning exercise with my 2 elder sisters. Had quite a fun :) && then we went for breakfast together! We had sisters talk && we chat about many things but actually is talking about the same thing luh. Hahas.

Alright, I just deleted one big paragraph of things that i wrote. Well, anyway, im talking to Mh && Mingyong now... Okay, i don't really have the mood to blog anyth now.. && i haven been watching my dramas recently. I guess i just got caught up with piano && so many other problems.. Alright, usually blogging is the time that i do reflective thinking. But i guess not today.. Actually i had so much to blog about but well, nvm... I guess i'll just listen to music && think about some things while talking to Mh && My on MSN... Just gonna stop here...

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

LIFE's JUST SO SUCKY!

2011-02-24T00:57:00.000+08:00

Today, i heard something && it started my day horribly! && subsequently, my whole day is ruined by all my negative thoughts && all my worries. Im so glad, i could talk to my Dajie && Meihui. I texted Meihui, had some encouraging words from her :) Thanks alot.

Im currently facing some "major" problems in my life. It's quite major for me la.. Firstly, is my piano exam in June. I need to find some ways to get my exam fees which costs me $371. You must be wondering why am i the one paying right? Well... It's just some kind of problems.. Okay, well, of course i can afford it but then im not working right now which means i don't have a constant income. && after i pay my fees, i'll only be left with so little money in my bank account. Alright, im typing all these out because not many will read my blog maybe except for you- you know who you are :) I know you'll be asking me about these too. I don't want to bother you too much. You have equally much problems as me. Just keep you in view about what's happening to me here. Im currently facing some financial crisis. && so if i pay my fees, what'll happen when school starts? I don't think i'll be getting pocket money && that'll lead me to my 2nd problem. I NEED TO GET A JOB. But then, there's just so few jobs that i can choose from. && i can't start work now. I need to commit myself to piano && band. Only after Band SYF which is in april, then i can start a temp job. && the prob is, if i don't start work soon, i'll have no money to pay for school stuff && for my own expenses. But if i work when school starts, will i have time for my piano exam in June? I need to practice for my exam too! && if im gonna find a job, it'll be on weekends cos weekdays i'll be studying and having piano lessons. Okay, im in such a confusing state right now. There's so much i need to consider. && when the enrollment package for Poly arrives, i need to think about my School fees. && where am i suppose to get all that money? && i definitely can't qualify for the NP scholarship with my o level results! My CCA record maybe can but i dunno what's their definition of good cca record? MY cca record i think is quite good lei.. But maybe to them, it is not outstanding enough? But if i need to go for interview and talk about my cca record, i sure can say alot de lei.. hahas! That's like the best topic im good at, alright! Hahas! But my academic results CMI leh. IS not considered good. If i get scholarship, den i do not have to worry about my sch fees le. && the next thing is, my Dajie is helping me to lookout for jobs && she said that this coming March, there'll be an IT show && i can do together with her. But... i have to consider my commitments to Band. They're having SYF camp && then it's so near to their SYF. I've to be there for them. I think i should be there because Brandon's batch is busy && Hj && jy they all are in JC too. They hardly can fork out any extra time. This is the least i can do for the band right? What if MC loses and LC decided to close it down. I wont be able to go back for Band anymore right? I should seize all the time i have. Okay, so now.. Im even more confusing now. Actually i have much more to write out but i just kind of forgot some of the deep thought that i had in the afternoon... *sighsighsigh*

&& i really don't want to say but i teared when i was playing the piano in the afternoon. Just thinking about all these && what's happening in my family now.. It just.. make me feel... so lousy. I just kind of feel a heavy burden dropped on me. Okay, i feel like crying now && i can't.. Im in a terrible terrible feeling now. THIS HORRIBLE HORRIBLE THINGS! *sigh* && earlier on i just took panadol.. Fell sick.. Now feeling better. But just now i kind of went on a "food binge" on CHOCOLATE even though im sick! I ate many many chocolate! Dark chocolate somemore! I just feel so LOUSY!! I dunno what else i could do.. && then i have to worry about Band. Things aren't going too well in Band too. All of the sudden, i have so much to worry about. My life just turns so dark just after a sleep! I really don't know.

Thanks Meihui, we'll work it out together. Anyway, told Meihui about the IT show too. && i think we're going to work together. According to my sister, can earn at least $200 in a few days. So will give it a shot && hopefully it wont clash with any of the Band's activities that're going on in March. $200 can keep me going at least for a month?? Now the bus fare is just so ex! Adult fare!!! You see, i will never want to grow up! I want to stay in Secondary school forever! I have pocket money && all i do is just study and play with friends. && i can go for Band practices, take part in performances and competitions. Life's so easy! Can talk to teachers && so much things! When we become an adult, we will have a stupid and lame routine life- everyday have to work and then have to manage our finances && think for our family (if we starts one). We have to think about every single actions && we have to spend so much on expenses. House, bills, && etc. Have to worry about social problems and politics @ work! So many many things! GOSH! I don't want to think of it anymore le!

Many many, billions && billions of thoughts are running through my mind now. I WANT TO GET RID OF THEM! Grrrr! Going back for band later in the afternoon && need to talk to MC about Band. Hopefully it works out right && hope that i'll be feeling better by tmr morning! Going for a run with my sisters! Hope that after the run, i'll feel physically && mentally better! Life's has become even more complicated for me just after a night. It is not as if it is not complicated enough! *criescriescries*

It is going 1am in 5 mins time... Need to sleep now! have to wake up early like 6.30 or 7 for morning exercise! I kind of feel better after blogging but my heart still feels heavy. It has been awhile since i felt my heart feeling so heavy and hard to breathe...

Zihui, I know you'll see all these. Just to tell you, i will survive throught but i just need to rant and complain at the same time! Hahas! No worries for me. Have fun @ Uniqlo && hope you are doing fine at home too. We'll all jiayous together, Zihui && Meihui!!! :)

Love you guys loads ^^

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-02-23T02:06:00.000+08:00

Went for piano lesson on Monday. HORRIBLE! Of course it'll be la.. Didn't spend my last week practicing. I only practised on Sunday and then Monday morning before i went for my lesson. Need to practise more while i can. School is starting soon && im going back Band more often, most prob every of their practices.. && need to practise my piano- exam in June.

Yesterday went back for Band. I felt like giving up... after looking at the Sec 1s && then looking at the seniors having their sectionals. Had a small talk with MC before the starts of practice. She asked me for my feedbacks on sound check. Told MC that should be able to sustain a Silver but gold.... Hmmm. && she agreed. Heard her comments regarding the SCH sound check last friday. Hmmm. && looking at the Band, really... I really don't know what to say. I totally can understand how Shirley feels. But what can i really do for the Exco? I can't interfere much for their practice && if i interfere, it doesn't reflects well for Shirley. Afterall, she's the Band Major. *sigh* Texted Jy on my way home earlier on. Briefly told him what's happening && we came up with a conclusion. && im super happy because he's coming for Band this coming Thursday after his school! :)) Imagine if Symphonic Band didn't get gold this year. It will be highly possible that the most hated outcome will be decided. :'( LC will definitely use that as another reason.. Anyway, im glad that MC actually defended for Symphonic Band. :) Even though her ultimate reason is not totally for sym band but still.. im glad to hear she will state her stand clearly! :) really am glad to hear what she said.. Therefore, we still stand a chance! :D
Im really disappointed! Please do not choose a wrong candidate again! Made that mistake during my time.. Please do not let it happen again! Maybe this year's NCO camp should make it tougher so that we can train and look for potential ones. They need to go through some tough training, definitely! Oh anyway, Yuyan say my drills are good! Lols. Didn't know my drills are good! Hahas. Happy to hear that but my drills aren't that good anyway. Hahas! I really very sad, my last NCO camp, i actually become one of those casualties! Omg, my last NCO camp && i didn't complete it, as in complete it without falling out. That's my first and last time that i fall out of a squad.. Maybe not. Military NCO camp, i actually fall out during the midnight drills when it was about to end! OMG! That's like worse! Okay, so anyway, i only fall out twicw in my four years. That's considered bad alrd! Shouldn't even fall out de! *sighsigh* But it's all over. I can only reminisce about it luh. Hahas. There's not going be another band camp for me :(( As in as a participant, not as an advisor/ex-member. Okay, now im the most updated ex-member now, need to update the rest! Hahas! Alright, shall do that tmr! :)

Saw Zihui's blog earlier on. She changed her skin. I hope she's feeling better now :) I really want to do something for her but i can't. It's her own life && i can't possibly tell her what to do && im not in any much position to tell her what to do. She needs to decide for herself. All i can do is to advise and console her... I know you'll be reading this. I know you don't want any of us to worry for you but please, take good care of yourself && talk to anyone of us if you have problems. I may not be able to tell you exactly what you need to do but i hope to be there for you alright? I also do wish i can tell you exactly how to move your next step but i really can't.. I feel sorry about that. :( But i can talk to you && give you some suggestions? :) I know you're feeling very vexed now about your life. Everything seems so dark for you. Light is just some distance away. Run faster && endure through! *EsperanzaDAY* :))

Alright, was talking to Mingyong && we talked about NP. School's starting on 18 Apr. Saw the calendar @ NP's website. There are like so many breaks and a 7 weeks long vacation! Lols! && exam will be in August! So it's like 4 months after sch starts, we'll be having exams le! o.o Nevermind! I'll endure through. It doesn't really seems tough eh. Hahas! It gave me a glimpse of hope! Lols! That it'll be much easier than secondary school life? As in the academics part. Cos i don't have to do AMATHS!!!! Hahas! ;DD Going to spend my time loving kiddies! Hahas! I'll be a good mother next time! LOLS! Hahahahahahahas!

Im listening to band classics. It's like... So nice. Esp those that BY composed! I like "At the break of Gondwana". I like the sound effect mimicking the sound of waves hitting against the rocks. It's so beautiful. The peaceful and calm sea.. The sound of the sea.. It sounded realistic! :)))))) Totally love his composing! Hahas! I wish i can compose my own piece and perform it to an audience too with me being the conductor! Hahas. The feeling must be so great la! *lovesloves* But firstly, i need to complete my theory which i hate it, ALOT! Im still stuck at that particular page. Lols. But my practical is like moving on && im taking practical Grade 8 exam like in june? && my theory... the last one i took was the Grade 1 music thoery signed up with the Band in 2008 which i scored 100 full marks for it? Lols! Not that im boasting la, but if i don't get 100 den it'll be embarrassing, considering that im doing a high grade for my piano practical. Lols! Alright, shall stop "glorifying" about my music ability! Lols! I don't play that well for piano too, anyway. :((

I just feel great posting out && typing every single of my thoughts, but still withholding some of my deep thoughts to myself, but still, it feels great to blog out my feelings. I hope i can just write and write on.. Hahas, maybe when im 70 years old or 80? Then i can write about my life.. Hahas! But then, i'll be too old && is the world still going to be here?????! Hahahahas.

Oh. Symphonic Band is going for a music exchange at Bedok Green Secondary School this coming Saturday && im going to tag along! It's nice to hear other bands play. && know where our standards are. && see how some other gold bands sound. Er... still don't know which are the schools that will be taking part in that exchange but im pretty sure there will surely be a few gold bands right? Hahas. Don't tell me there isn't going to be one.. =.= Then that exchange will be sucky! Opps, i didn't just said that right? Hahas. Exchange is suppose to expose band to other bands and listen to their sounds && playing right? Of course you need to hear some good ones, if not how to improve?? Exchange is for learning what! =.=

My contacts are drying up. Hahas! Need to take out my contacts le! && im starting to ywan but to the mood of sleeping yet!

Might be going to ECP with my sisters. Not sure yet, maybe the plan will be cancelled. Hahas!

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-02-21T02:23:00.000+08:00

I've been lazy to post. Hahas! Zihui, this is my post for you to tell you how great my days was recently! :)

I totally love my Valentines Day with Meihui. Trained down to Orchard to find Zihui too ^^ I even met SAMSUNG at NEX! We were walking face to face && we just walked past each other! Awww. Texted Huijun about it. She was SOOOO excited can! Hahas! But he looked 憔悴. Hmmm, he must be so damn busy. Anyway, he's alone on Valentines! Hahas! Went to Esplanade- Theatres at the Bay with Mh. It was damn nice. The night view of it.. The river.. I just feel so happy looking at the scenery plus the nice music provided. Wow! SPLENDID! Hahas.

Thursday, went back for Band. They sounded so much better. Glad to see how they have improved. Followed the Band to Singapore Conference Hall (SCH) for sound check on friday. I woke up super early! Hahas! Didn't want to miss their prac in bandroom before they head to SCH. They didn't play as well @ SCH. I think the main prob is different environment && some of them were nervous. They should be la. Hahas! It means they have the sense of urgency eh. Hahas! At SCH, reminds me of my SYF days in Band. All those good && bad memories just flashed in my mind.. SCH's really a place of memories. Will never forget when they announced SILVER && at the tuning room where the flautists were busy warming our flutes. Hahas. Band just holds so much of my memory. Band times were the best days of my life in Secondary school. Not forgetting military band SYF 2008. It was really the time of my life though i was only a teenager. *cries* Feel like crying le. I just miss secondary school days so much! I don't mind studying all over again. && this time, i'll definitely listen to Mr Koh, Ms Meninder, Mdm Ng, Chen Laoshi (Mario), Guo Laoshi's lessons. *criescriescries* I will also do hand in all my work promptly (not that i didnt) but i'll work even harder than i was. && my o levels, i will do even better. Better till i can see my name on the screen under the top students list! HAHAHAS! Actually, the o level part can skip uh.. Hahas! But I'll really pay a lot more attention in class de! :'( Wonder how life will be at Poly && after Poly. If i get into uni, && after Uni?? Working life?? How i wish i never had to work! Working is really~!@#$%^&^%$#. But if i had to, of course i'll do my best luh! Duh~ Hahas! I have to work to live rite! Lols.

Alright, went Saints Hallelujah X concert by Saints Alumni Band @ Republic Poly with Hj && Jy on Saturday. It was nice meeting the 2 of them again. && we talked && talked. It's nice to hear them talking about their JC lives. Hahas. Huijun injured her ankle, hope she recovers fast! It was ages since we last met. It was a good reunion! :)) Anyway, it was BY's last concert. He is even thinner now! I remembered the last concert we went, Hj && me was laughing at his suit cos it seems big on him! But now, it is perfectly fitting. He must be so tired and busy.. hahas! It's just so fascinating to watch him conduct. Alright, i sound pervertic! Hahas. But he's really someone that i look up to and admire la. He's a living example of what i want to be can! Gosh. *Envious* >.< I reached home like 12am on Saturday?? Hahas. Good evening spent with Hj && Jy. Oh, we met Brandon && Jennifer at republic poly too. Hahas. Hj, Jy && me was really... LAUGHS! Hj said we can take photo with BY. && then we sort of looked for him but he was no where to be seen. && Brandon left first. So we waited. Hoping to can at least say someth to him or what. Afterall, it's his last concert. We waited && almost everyone else left && then he came out of the door. But he didn't walked to our direction... :( So we just walked off and went to woodlands station! How nice if we took a shot with him. Significant eh. Hahas. Not that i am what la.. Just that, he's really a great person. Hahas! Despite some other 缺点. Okayy, who doesn't have shortcomings rite!!! We should not always see the shortcomings of others, we should take a diff look at them! LOLS.

I JUST MISS DEYI SO MUCH! That's why i've been going back for Band. I really do hope Symphonic Band will survive. Hope to have its 10th Anniversary celebration! :)))))) Because i know i'll definitely be part of it && be there! I LOVE DEYI SYMPHONIC BAND! Even though i had some rough times there && know that i was a devil who was hated there but still... It is what that was left in my heart.. I'll be feeling proud when i go back for prize presentation && onto the stage on the 8th March. Service Award- Symphonic Band. :)))) && All the best to Huijun for her Valedictorian speech! Hahas!

I just teared... :) Tears of my memories.
How nice that the Set Piece for SYF is Memories of Friendship. I just feel so touched whenever i hear the band playing it. :)

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-02-13T02:23:00.000+08:00

Earlier just took medicine. Having flu! ARGH! && i had my finger plastered! Practiced too much piano alrd, have blister on my thumb && then itchy finger- i went to burst it && peel of the skin!!! Applied medication && put on plaster! Hahas! Happy to see that im having blister playing piano! :) Hope i'll get merit or distinction for my grade 8 piano practical. Im taking my exam in May/June this year! So nervous! Hope i wont be disappointed! Im really practicing very hard now! :))

Alright. Im totally in love with GLEE! Actually don't really like it but then i ran out of dramas cos all my dramas are waiting to be updated!!! So i went to watch Glee. I finished Season 1 in like dunno how many days la! Hahas! Now at Season 2 but also waiting to be updated now. Im a drama freak! LOLS. && VAMPIRE DIARIES SEASON 2 also UPDATING! Im waiting for ep 15!!!! SLOW!!! *sigh*

Tmr going down to Sim Lim Square to get my laptop repaired! Gosh, i left my laptop die there for 2-3 months le! Hahas! Need to revive it! Lols! My Erjie's lappy also died yesterday! LOLS! But according to her, is not spoil, is need to install someth or what. Whatever lor. Hahas, not my laptop can alrd. But im sad. All my photos && all my things will be gone in my laptop- I NEVER BACKUP! Damn! When my laptop is repaired, first thing to do is transfer all my current things from dajie's lappy to mine && then im going to BACKUP! Hahas. Then going to find songs to download! All my songs gone too :((((( Double sadness!

Monday after piano lesson meeting Meihui!!! Yayness! && then maybe going down Uniqlo Ion to visit Zihui! Spending my Valentines Day with my lovely friend. :)) *lovesloves* Excited you know! Hahas.

Currently listening to Glee songs via Youtube! I'll download all that songs when i feel like it! Hahas. Going to sleep soon. Oh my! Just now was only 1245! Now already 2.16am! Oh oh. :P

One last thing before i go for my bed- need to wake up earlier later.
I feel that im drifting further && further away from everyone! All my friends! There are those who are studying in JCs && working. I don't really want to disturb those in JCs && those working are busy :(( It is so hard to get everyone together. && worse still, some are not going to be ard us or will be going far away. :((( I really miss all my friends. Love you guys! :)

There're many things that i want to say but i cant really post them out in words. Some things im really disappointed in && i really don't want to hurt anyone by posting it out here && they read it. Guess i'll get it out of my heart either here in a not obvious way or maybe write it somewhere else.

Whenever you remember.

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2011-02-01T00:33:00.000+08:00

Having aches all over! ARGH!!!

Alright. Sunday went for baibai && then to lunch. Dajie && me then went Orchard to buy CNY clothes. I bought 2 top from Forever 21 && a blue top from Hula. I also bought a jean. Met Zihui @ Ion! Hahas! She came to find me when she was having her break! It's SOOOOO NICE to see her! :) It felt like ages though we just met like on the 25th?? hahas!

Yesterday nothing much. Went for piano lesson && then went for a meal with my parents after fetching my dajie from work. && then went to fetch my little sister from school && came back home.

I just went through my stuffs && then i came across the CDs of my SYFs in primary school. Out them into the laptop && i watched it. It is so nice to look back && see what i could do in the past! Hahas! I mean my flexibility. Lols! Ever since i left Colourguard in DMB, i stopped dancing or doing anyth dance related. I can even do a simple sit-and-reach now! See how *inflexible i've become!!! :((( Have the intention to join dance as cca in Poly!!! Hahas. :D But not sure yet, will see how. Hahas. && after i watched all those SYFs, i wanted to watch Deyi Military Band SYF 2008 when i was part of it, doing the dance and strokes with he flags! Only to realise, the disc is lost!! && i can't rmb where i left it!! Maybe i chuck it somewhere when i moved to my aunt house during the upgrading period. Urgh! It's okay! It'll be in the house... SOMEWHERE! Lols. It will appear someday && then i can watch. Now, i can only rely on youtube! HAHAHAHAS!

Still deciding whether i should go back for band tmr.. But i've got reunion dinner @ my ganma's house like ard 6pm?? Hmmm. Dunno if i should go back for band tmr. Im lazy too!!! Urgh! damn it, im feeling so lazy lately!!!! Alright, i going to watch videos && all && go to sleep! I can't sleep for too many hours from today onwards!!! My mum says my aching is due to me sleeping toooooo manyyyyyyyy hours each day!!! HAHAS! So ya.. :((( Limit my sleeping time! But it's so nice to sleep during this kind of weather la! Hahas!

To my lovely friend, just be who you want to be && live whatever kind of life you want. If you think too much && worry too much about everyth, you will never fake a smile again because you will not be able to bring yourself to do so. Enjoy whatever you're doing right now, the present && live for your late grandparent. He will not want to see you like this. && i will say, cry as much as you want!!! Because it will make you feel better but rmb that it will not solve anyth. You can talk to someone. I will be there :) Just text me anytime or drop my any email! :)) You can't leave alone. If you think it will hurt others if you're too close, you're wrong. When you choose to stay away from someone, it is what you do that will hurt the other person. You need some close friends around you, that you're able to open && talk about anyth && everyth. I can suggest, you open a private blog and post everyth that you feel there. Nobody will see it && you can feel much more better by blogging it out. :) All the best to you! ;D

CARPE DIEM~

Till i post again,

Peijun :)

2011-01-30T02:36:00.000+08:00

Im feeling kind of sad now? *sigh* Wherever we go, we choose our own paths. Somehow, i still can't quite accept it. I am sure im still living in self denial?? I really hope to get over it but maybe because that's me...
I have been wanting to get into NYJC for the past 1 year. Now, i just accept the fact that im gong NP for Early Childhood Education. Looking at some *people that can go into NYJC through DSA or appealing, it makes me really want to cry! && *some people really make me so jealous of them! How can they get in like this! ARGH!
Im bad, i know ): I just cant accept the fact okay! Alright, im not going to risk it by going to JC. I really hope i will get over the JC dream that i had for such a long time. It's time for me to plan my new future. No more JC. It is poly now && then to University. At the same time, getting my Grade 8 piano practical certificate && then to Diploma! That's my new goal for now. There're many changes to life. People change. Therefore, my goal will also change according to the situation. I believe i can get my diploma for my piano && graduate from Poly with a very good grade && be a nice && wonderful preschool teacher && guide the little kiddies && lead them to their BRIGHT future! :))

Ytd went back for Saturday band practice. I was super tired because i only slept like 3 hours plus && then went to school && had to take the Flutists for sectionals in the afternoon. Im glad they're getting better. They are still the same, can't wait to leave band prac.. As usual!! Hahas! I really do hope all of them can go for SYF 2011. Really hope they will pass the audition on tuesday. Should i go back on Tuesday morning?? Then what do i do?? Stay in Band room?? Or hang ard the school?? HUH! && wait all the way to 3pm for band prac?!!!! ALONE?!!!! Hmm. Don't think im going to do that but i really want to see how they do for their audition. Okay, maybe i just go back in the afternoon la. I want to sleep!!! HAHAS! :P

Im sorry to you but hopefully i did the right thing. Im feeling alittle guilty now but im just doing my feedback. Don't blame me okay!! I really dislike && hate it when i had to do the right thing but i know it will hurt && make ppl angry for it. You know what? People are always angry at those who are doing the right thing. Don't believe?? Students get angry at teachers for all the things BUT teachers are doing the right thing. Children get angry at their parents for all the things BUT what their parents do are right && for the well being of them. That is why. Life is so complicated && frustrating but that's life! JUST ACCEPT IT! I know, im also complaining about life but still i will carry on with it && try to overcome at least part of the problems and difficulties. But life will be so meaningful if you spent it on doing things that u are interested in and u like. It will be more meaningful if you're able to enjoy life- that's when u're able to do the things u like. :)

Alright, im kind of crapping here && i need to sleep le. *Someone keeps irritate me && ask me to go sleep && keep !@#$%^&*&^%$#@#$%^^%$#@#$%^&^%$#@!@#$&^%$#@.

Okayy, i guess i will stop here. Have to wake up early cos need to go bai bai. It's been a long time since i went to visit my Grandparents and my aunt for baibai. Hmmm.

Goodnights. *Fly me to the moon*! Hahas! that's what my playlist is playing now!! LOLs. alright.

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

Be Strong

2011-01-29T02:24:00.000+08:00

I really love Delta Goodrem. Her songs are really meaningful!! Especially Together we are one && Be strong. *lovesloves* :))

Are you swimming upstream in oceans of blue?
Do you feel like sinking?
Are you sick of the rain after all you've been through?
Well I know what you're thinking
When you can't take it
You can make it
Sometime soon I know you'll see

Cause when your in you're darkest hour
And all of the light just fades away
When you're like a single flower whose colours have turned to shades of gray
Well hang on && be strong

Where taking each step one day at a time
You can't loose your spirit
Let live && let live forget && forgive
It's all how you see it
&& just remember keep it together
Don't you know you've never alone

Cause when your in you're darkest hour

&& all of the light just fades away

When you're like a single flower whose colours have turned to shades of gray

Well hang on && be strong

No, you're not defeated

&& soon you'll be smiling once again

Then you won't have to feel it

Let it go with the wind

Time passes us by

&& know you're allowed to cry

Cause when your in you're darkest hour

&& all of the light just fades away

When you're like a single flower whose colours have turned to shades of gray

Well hang on && be strong

Together We Are One

Here we are
Sharing our lives
We made it through
The good and bad times
And still we stand
With hope in our hearts
No matter what
We will play our part
And now we've come so far
One chance to touch a star
Go higher and higher

Find your guiding inspiration
In a place where dreams are made
With a lifetime's preparation
It's no time to be afraid
Put our difference behind us
While we shine like the sun
See what we've all become
Together we are one

Deep inside your heart and soul
You've worked so hard
To reach your goal
With every step
With every breath
You gave it all
Till there was nothing left
Seek out the strength to win
No thoughts of giving in
Go higher and higher

Find your guiding inspiration
In a place where dreams are made
With a lifetime's preparation
It's no time to be afraid
Put our difference behind us
While we shine like the sun
See what we've all become
Together we are one

Find your guiding inspiration
In a place where dreams are made
With a lifetime's preparation
It's no time to be afraid
Put our difference behind us
While we shine like the sun
See what we've all become
Together we are one

Till i post again
Peijun :)

空欢喜一场

2011-01-28T00:26:00.000+08:00

OMG! What's wrong with MOE! Went to do the appeal for Arts Biz && guess what?? It was not in the choices under the dropdown list! I was kind of shocked! Then i went to "click HERE" for the lists of courses im eligible for! && GUESS WHAT? Early Childhood cop is 14 && Arts Biz is 11 instead of 15 && 12 respectively! WTH! In that list, my CCA points is indicated && so are my raw L1R4 && net L1R4! Why didn't they do that for JAE && only for appeal????!!!!! WHAT IS THIS??????! ARGH! 我抱着希望，期待可以选我十分有兴趣的科目。结果呢?? 气死我了!!!! Haiyo! Stupid MOE!

MOE should really do that for JAE also instead of only appeal. What's their reason for not doing that for JAE???

Till i post again
Peijun :)

2011-01-27T16:48:00.001+08:00

It was supposed to be at 8a.m! But i received the news like 6.25a.m?!!! Alright, actually it doesn't really matters! I opened the message and i read. I was like "orh. okay lor". I didn't feel anyth-disappointed or sad. It was kind of expected? maybe that's why?? Hmmm. I dunno. But then i was still quite mixed up and confused. I was thinking whether i should appeal to JC. Hahas! But that's all over!!!! YEAH! I AM GOING TO ROCK ON like what Zihui said! Hahas!

Tuesday supposed to go out with Jy && Mh but after that it was left with Mh && me but in the end, we still didnt get to meet up. So i stayed home && played the piano && attempted PRIMARY 6 PROBLEM SUMS! Okay, im really going to say i really do SUCKS at MATHEMATICS! Lols. But im quite proud of myself, i helped my meimei solved one mystery question!!! Wahahahas! ;D Then i went to do her assssment book of problems sums. Erm... not very productive cos i... ahem! Okay. I only did like 3 questions? But only 2 is correct && i spent like dunno how long to complete that! =.= 不是很光荣的事! Hahas. Okay, shall stop "glorifying" about my mathematics! Hahas!

Yesterday went back Deyi to help Miss Chew to invigilate the Amaths Diagnostics Test. It was boring i can say! Hahas. Aiya, laughed alot with Minji. She's just so funny! Hahas. Some things happened && blablabla... Zihui so funny! She lost the visitor's pass && ended up Misschew called my phone and i accidentally rejected her call && Zihui phone rang- it was Miss chew. && only to found out that the visitor's pass really hidden in between the test papers that we handed to Misschew! Hahas! alright. That was funny. Hahas! Zihui's blurness ar.. Hahas. If you're reading this post, don't laugh at yourself ar! Hahas. ;DDD

Went Amk Hub with Zihui :) That was the replacement for the iluma okay! Hahas! After CNY, shall go iluma again with zihui && THE REST! When can we really meet together??? :(((
Oh ya! I really have to mention this! Im damn so unlucky this morning. Asked my bro to fetch me to sch cos like going to rain and my dajie took the umbrella for work. I've got no umbrella! So i have to walked to school under the not-so-heavy-rain. && the worst thing is i tried to avoid a stray dog! && still it followed me! OMG! Im like so freaking scared can! Called zihui and told her about my predicament && the rain started to get heavier and heavier. && when i got onto the overhead bridge, it was freaking pouring so heavily!!! The next worst thing is i told zihui i've got shelter all the way to sch except the traffic light outside sch. So i took my usual route to school! && then i freaking realised there was no shelter to the small zebra crossing from one of the block to the other! && it is just like some few steps away to another block but because of the stupid heavy rain, i've got walk whole big round back and walk to the bird corner there which was like only somewhere quite near to the freaking zebra crossing! Damn it! i was like freaking sweating && plus i was under the rain earlier on, i was so sticky and uncomfortable! What's worse is i reach the freaking bird corner (&& like i said, was freaking neaer to the SMALL zebra crossing), the rain is like SO NOT HEAVY! It was freaking like no rain at all!!! WTH!!!!!!!!! Okay den i met Zihui at the small pavilion opp sch && we went in to school! :))) LIKE FINALLY~~~ Hahas!
&& when i went back home, it was freaking pouring again! Thanks Zihui for the text because the rain kind of stopped for me && the dog is gone! HAHAS! So happy! Went home dry && safe!!! LOLS.

&& i know this post has many many FREAKING in it! I apologise for the contamination of the contents! Hahas! But im FREAKING unhappy (kind of) today! *sigh*

Alright. All the best to Junyang && Grace for their appeal. Hopefully they will end up somewhere they like. && also to my beloved friends, all the best for your next chapter of your life! It is the 27th, JC year one students will start school at like 7.30a.m! :) JIAYOUs everyone, whether you go poly or JC. LEt's work for our goals!!! :))

Till i write again,
Peijun :)

2011-01-22T02:20:00.000+08:00

In life, we'll meet with problems, many many different kinds of problems- work, family, friends, relationships, financial, social, etc. There are bound to be ups and downs, unhappy events that will make us feel lousy, bad, guilty, angry, sad, depressed. We will definitely feel it. However, no matter how deep we are hurt or frustrated by the problems, we still have to face it- the reality. Running away from it doesn't helps to solve the matters. Despite the many problems, the worst thing is to hurt any person- emotionally. However, that's the biggest && most common problem that we, all humans, will face in our daily lives...

Sometimes, we hurt the person that we loved most unintentionally, just by a word or an action. Human beings are very sensitive animals. Even the most *stupid person on earth can also feel the hurt because we all can feel... We have a heart.. We will feel anything that happens to us or to the others. But what can we really do?? Sometimes, it is beyond our control of the situation. It is like a third party hurt. You hurt the person you loved most or you care about or your friends through a third party (i.e. gossiping).

Gossiping is a very very common topic among youngsters/ teenagers. We gossip about people that we dislike and teachers, or even friends. I am guilty of this. I really am. You can't imagine how vicious/ cruel a person can get when he/she is at the brink. I can't imagine that i could actually speak of such bad and rude remarks of my friends. I get angry, frustrated, sad, jealous. Anyone of us gets... It is only the matter on how you control it. I didn't really control it very nicely. Well, i vent all these feelings through gossiping. Actually, it is not really gossiping but just when my good friends talk about them, i start to rant and rant on all the things that i feel and what they did to me. Is this considered as gossiping? I guess so, in one way or another. To me, at that point of time, is a talk for my good friends to understand me and for me to talk to someone to feel better. :) Now, after having gone through so much, i finally understand. Some things, are up to us to define it.

Alright, i still have much more to write && talk about but i guess, this post will get super long. Hahas. Actually, i just want to say an important point- TRUST. I don't really trust many people now because i don't know if they will protect my "soul". I can't take it if something happens to me. I don't want to experience it another time. Soul.. I'll talk about it another time...

It's getting late now. Got to rest.

Till i post again
Peijun :)

2011-01-21T22:08:00.000+08:00

Watched Peter Pan earlier on. Found some really nice music- downloading it now! Hahas!

I feel this emptiness inside me.. Why do i feel that the whole world is revolving and moving except for my world?? only my... I feel sad && confused right now... Mixed feelings :S Everyday i'm thinking && thinking of the same thing, over && over again. I don't understand why. My thoughts are harder to control now.. && i hate it.. I'm living in self-denial.. Am i??

Argh. I'm getting headaches because of all these STUPID thoughts!

Alright, my music are downloaded! Finally some new music to my playlists...

I kind of regret. But i can't! If i can't go into nyjc, i still can go other JCs. I dunno why i'm so stubborn about it. Why do i insist on nyjc && just go for a poly if i can't get in?? Why??! *headaches*
Alright, i shall stop thinking about it okay! just wait for the 26th. && anybody ask me why i didn't go for it, i'll just say the truthful reply! ALRIGHT! stop thinking about it, stop thinking about it. PEIJUN, STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!

Okay, off to find some dramas && movies... ILY.

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

Healthy VS Unhealthy

2011-01-21T02:58:00.000+08:00

I know it's quite late now, technically quite "early" actually. Hahas. But just wanted to post something before i go for bed..

I've been sleeping real "early" these few days.. or weeks.. && i mean really EARLY, like this time... Or even EARLIER! This is bad for health! On the other hand, i feel healthy with my input of DRAMAS && MOVIES! lols. Okay, im actually crapping here.. Alright, healthy VS unhealthy... Finally, it is still my body that suffers! am i right to say that? HAHAS!

Alright, im done here with my crap logic! Hahas!

Hope to meet up with my lovely friends real soon~~ IMT!

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

Whenever You Remember❧

2011-01-20T19:53:00.000+08:00

When you look back on times we had
I hope you smile
&& know that through the good && through the bad
I was on your side when nobody could hold us down
We claimed the brightest star && we
We came so far && no they won't forget

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
We believe that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

When you think back on all we've done
I hope you're proud
When you look back && see how far we've come
It was our time to shine
&& nobody could hold us down
They thought they'd see us fall but we
We stood so tall && no they won't forget

Whenever you remember times gone by

Remember how we held our heads so high

When all this world was there for us

We believe that we could touch the sky

Whenever you remember I'll be there

Remember how we reached that dream together

Whenever you remember...

Those memories are like diamonds && crystals to me. They shimmers && shines brightly in my heart, forever. They are my source of energy that will push me further so that i can achieve the same && leaving fond memories in my heart... I miss all those good times. How i wish i could turn back the clock && freeze it there forever && ever... ...

2011-01-20T02:01:00.001+08:00

It has been quite awhile...

O's results are out && im alittle upset with my own results. As expected, I didn't do well, of course. After cutting off CCA points, i've obtained 12 for my L1R4 && a 15 for my L1R5. My results are lousy. The JAE has also ended. Hopefully i made the right decision by abandoning the appeal opportunity && go for a Diploma instead! I'm still feeling quite confused && messed up right now. Just hope 26th quickly arrive && i will not regret after that!

I did a horrible horrible mistake recently. I hope i can salvage it but i think im wrong... But also because of this incident, i realised how much im being hated && disliked by many people. But i don't think im in the wrong for doing all that back then but hearing all that comments just make me feels lousy and guilty! I know im being hated but it's just uncomfortable to face the reality- hearing all those remarks made by my fellow mates. I think im hurt. Is it so?? I can't really differentiate what is what. I just hope my life will not have any of these incidents anymore, again. I committed the same mistake twice... I'm starting to question myself. WHYYYYYYY? Why the hell did i do all that unnecessary acts??! After days && days of torturing myself, i came up with this conclusion- I just love what im doing && hope that everything will carry on smoothly and not fall apart. Because i did not do a fantastic job back then, i hope that they will continue && do better than what i did. However, my grave mistake was that i used the wrong method. Instead of helping, i added additional pressure to them && i feel remorseful for that. My intention was not clearly conveyed, i think.

Now, i have no idea how am i suppose to face them. I just cant bring myself to go back there again. But i cant let this affect the whole system. The forming of the group still has to be carry on. HOLD ON! I dun understand why, why am i the one initiating it?? Why??! Then i realised, if i don't, nothing wil move on. That's what always happen.. From the past till now... It's always the same. That's how im being hated, i guess. Im always the one outstanding when i shouldnt be. But what can i do?? it's my responsibilities, isn't it? Im just doing my job! Im just doing what im supposed to do! Im just trying my best!!! Do you think im trying too hard?? Im trying too hard to perfect all the things that im doing! That's why.. People hates me for that, i know! But what can i do?? Who's going to do my job? Who's there to hold all those responsibilities?!!! Why can't they understand?! Do you really think i want those limelights && try being the one?!! NO! I HATE ALL THAT! I HATEEEEE IT, seriously!

ARGH! I just hope i can quickly get out of these! I just want a peaceful life.. Not being a leader, not being any heads of any group, not being the one initiating or doing the job, not the o ne holding the heavy responsibilities. Not anymore... Im tired! I do want to lead a normal life but the situation always landed me in a situation whereby i have to be the one doing all that. I could, reject all that... I could have rejected to be the one who will start the things, i can reject and lied that im not available and leave all the things to the others... BUT, my conscience wont allow me to do so... WE have to share the burden and workload, that's what i always believe && that's how im trained to do! Maybe... maybe it's just because of those little little setbacks that im feeling this way.. Maybe...

But maybe is not a good word... Am i really trying too hard??

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2010-10-31T22:46:00.001+08:00

It's been a long time since i last posted...

These few weeks have been busy preparing for O levels.. Honestly speaking, im dissatisfied with my own performance, whether in revising or doing the exam papers. My efforts should paid off but it didn't. I am going to disappoint everyone once again.. Especially you...
Funny uh. I should be revising for my physics paper now but i just cant seems to focus. Millions && millions of thoughts running through my head. My heart feels heavy.. I thought i needed to come here to blog out all my feelings before i can let down and move forward. I've been telling ppl around me that it's okay && we will make it but sometimes it just feels like im deceiving myself. Im telling myself it's okay && everyth will turn out right but in actual fact, it is not going to work that way. I know it from the bottom of my heart. I thought i could hide my feelings well. but.. well, my 2nd sister saw it through.. I thought that if im in the room i was safe... it wasn't at all. The tears that i shed made me realise someth.. I can't practise it now because O levels gonna end soon && i will not be able to make it in time.. But whatever results i get && whatever my future is, i'll remember today.. I will never let laziness overcome me! never.. I will do my utmost best in everything i do. I need to be demanding in myself. Im not going to let some silly excuses to pull me back! that's it! i should have gotten this feel ing few months ago.. now regretting of my own actions, i feel so guilty and remorseful. I have no idea how to face my own results next year..
Most importantly, i have no idea on how to talk to u face to face or just to utter a word to u. im really a disappointment. Im someone who does not do what i say.. im someone.. a failure... but whatever it is, im not sure if u raelly don't wish to put pressure on me or u actually believe that i cmi. It doesn't matters to me anymore. im just going to do my best for the last few papers. I will go wnywhere my results will take me to. Anyway, my biggest dream, i've alrd given up on it long time ago.. I hope no one will bring up that matter again because im not going to go that path anymore && if you do talk about it, it will really make me sad... well, why don't i chase after it since i will be sad?? it's easier said than done. after so many years, what kind of results do i get?? My heart is dead on it... it will just remain as my favourite past time.. seems like my life will be a pathetic one in the future... hahas!

okay, im going back to revise for my physics.. i can do it for chemistry... physics will be as easy! :)

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2010-08-25T19:42:00.003+08:00

At that moment && at that point of time, i've seen && experienced it. If you didn't realise, it actually meant alot to me. That was definitely not someth that I could rejoice with you about. I thought it would be much more easier if you had spared a thought for me && put yourself im my shoe && considered my feelings. All the year && days && still counting, it actually mean nothing at all, its meaningless... Honestly, I cant continue to believe that you'll be there for me because reality has proven that it's not true at all.. There's nothing to forgive or to feel sorry about anymore, it's too late. If you think you're right, carry no with that way because you're not wrong either but just rmb that It was not me who gave up, it's you who chose to abandon it.

2010-06-06T12:53:00.000+08:00

Heyhey!

Got home super late yesterday! Reached home at about 11 plus. Was super tired. Wanted to do some work but couldn't take it. Went to sleep instead! Hahas.
Woke up this morning, wasn't in the mood to study. Went youtube to watch videos instead! HAAHS ;D Im going to search for some music then go take my lunch && yes, GOT TO START DOING MY WORK! No more procrastinating!
After hearing what you guys said yesterday night, hmmm, i made some decision before i went to sleep. Im going to DSA through band to SAJC. If i got accepted, then good for me. If not, i will just based on my Os result to get into NYJC. I don't mind the travelling time to SAJC. It is not that far.. Will take me around 30-45 mins only. So what's the big deal? If i like the school && all, i will just be happy && this motivates and makes me want to learn because i love it! If you want me to enter a school that i don't like, what's the use?! Right??? Hahas. But i have to practice on my flute. Going back to band sooooooon~ Hahas! But right now, i have to faster GO DO MY WORK!!! Hahas.

Alright, im getting motivated! Oh yes!! This is sooooooo damn cooooool! Im gg to make it! Im not scared of you........O LEVELS~!

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2010-06-05T14:37:00.000+08:00

Heyhey!

Going for concert later on. Wahahas! It may be my last one... :( I got NAGGED by my mum. She say i always waste time && money going for concerts.. Hey, but that's "educational concert"! Hahas. I get to know more of music okay! && learn how to appreciate different genres of music. :)

Your face keeps appearing in my mind. I can't shake it off... Your smile, mesmerized me :) I wished i lived in the history so i can see you every now && then... IMY.

Till i post again,

Peijun :)

2010-06-04T23:37:00.000+08:00

Hellos.

It has been a long long time since i last posted. Mid-year is over && my results just doesn't reach my own expectation. Can be much much better! Grades that i should not be having, will be gone after June holidays! There will be a GREAT GREAT GREAT IMPROVEMENT in my academics, especially my AMaths, Combine Humanities && POA. Must ACE my Emaths, Chinese, Combine Humanities, POA. At least this four subjects, MUST GET A1 or A2. I CAN DO IT! Amaths, aiming for a B. Really did badly for this Midyear. *disappointed*
O Level Chinese is over BUT if i don't get my A1, im gg to retake at the end of the year! Im serious! I've got a feeling, my A1 will not be there... Aww. :'(
Im working this hard, to make amends for the Mid-year results && to score for my O's. Hope my hardwork will pay off :)

Today had Physics && POA. Only Wei Fang, Zihui && me turned up for POA. Mrs Luah was quite disappointed. Learnt 2 new topics today- Amalgamation && Stock Valuation && i managed to get it :)) Going to do some revision after this post && off to sleep! Hahas! POA, i'll get back my A1. No more dropping of so many grades, NO MORE! Im going to work hard to maintain all my As && improve my AMaths! 加油! ;D

Tomorrow going for St Andrew's Junior College Mini-concert held in their very own CAMPUS! Im excited! Hahas ;D Meeting Huijun && the rest. The number of people attending concert gets lesser && lesser after each time. It is quite saddening uh. Alright, im not gg to think so much, never mind about it okay? :)

Dear FRIENDS, please study well && do take care of your own health during this June holiday. Eat healthy && get enough sleep! Please don't stress yourself up too much. It's bad for your health && can turn into serious medical problems after that.
Stay happy && all the best in your studying/revision.

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2010-05-02T23:06:00.000+08:00

Hellos.

I LOVE THE HERBAL TEA MY MUM MADE! hahas! Have been drinking it for 2 to 3 days. NICE! ;D Help me to cool down and energize? ENERGIZE??! Wait, i dunno what's that word to describe. Hahas. Anyway, it is nice to drink la..

Im going to study now! Study CHEMISTRY. The one i "LOVED" most! LOLS. I LOVE CHEMISTRY! I LOVE CHEMISTRY! I LOVE CHEMISTRY! Yes, i love chemistry && A1 for my SCIENCE!!!! ;D

A1s for MEIHUI ALSO! Yes!!! 7 Als okay?! Maybe midyear cannot alrd BUT NVM! O levels! WE CAN DO IT! EVERYONE OF US CAN! YEAHHHHHHhh~

Alright. Done with my crapping! Off to study now ;D

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2010-05-02T12:52:00.003+08:00

Hellos.

Feeling damn pain! Grr. Hope it will be better on Tuesday && dun act up during Wednesday's papers! I haven been practicing my piano leh. How...?! Den here i am still posting. Hahas! Aiya, im just going to put in EXTRA EXTRA EFFORT after midyear ok?! No doubts that i can't make it for this year's examination with my current progress. Argh! Damn it can!!!! Whatever le la. Just take a step at a time. Pull through the school examinations first. :)

I feel so dumb... Am i too kind?? Should have just asked you to throw it away. && shouldn't feel bad when you crushed it away. Shouldn't even feel a little of upset when you crushed away and when you wanted to throw away. Really.

This is the very first time i did this to myself. I feel so dumb. Not worth it at all. I used to find it dumb last time but why did i do it to myself??! I dunno. I have no idea. Just felt that it wasn't worthwhile afterall. You are right, im just too kind. So, should i still keep it intact or just do the same as you, crush it away and throw it away?? But i think i will not. I am not as bad as you. Hahas! No la, kidding. But i will not throw. I will just put it inside my memory box. It will just remain as part of my beautiful memories... I have nothing more to say. Going off to do my things.

牛头不对马嘴。

I will just keep it with me. It will be my another source of energy to move forward...

2010-05-01T19:05:00.001+08:00

to add on to the previous post, i never speak or talk to you in school because i was just being sensitive towards you. meaning, i dun want to create more trouble as i said in my first post, we thought u are ignoring us on purpose. That's why. Again, that's what im going to say. Whether u believe it or not, it's your choice. all i know is i have already got what you wanted to say. The rest is up to you.

2010-05-01T18:24:00.000+08:00

Hellos.

Maybe my english is bad. My apologies then or just that people dun understand what im writing. Stop && rubbish isn't what im trying to say. Stop doesnt mean im going to stop and end it. Rubbish is referring to the nonsense and random things i wrote: very first was so different from the last few. I never call the shots or quits? I never even say anything else. But to think carefully, aren't you the one who started it? You were the one who started sending those smses. In my first post, i was just answering your questions and telling you all the things to at least let you understand how i felt. No other hidden meaning too. But maybe different people have different interpretations of things. So maybe you got the wrong idea of the post. My whole intention is not what you are thinking. But it's true, you put so many words into my mouth when some i didn't even say it. Im really very polite enough, FYI. Im willing to say in a nice tone but i think your impression of me is already bad. So, whatever im going to say, it will just turn wrong... Im not going to continue with this because what you wrote, i got it. && I will be more sensitive to others around me. As for you, whether you got my intention, or whether you want to accept whatever i wrote, its up to you. Im not going to force you to make a choice which i never did. So it's all up to you...

Damn it. Of all days, why must it fall on Labour Day! Grrr. At least there's 3 days to rest. Alright, off to my things! ;D

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2010-05-01T03:41:00.000+08:00

I never even mention about so many things. Just putting words into my mouth. Robot? LOLS! I am being so nice to even write so politely towards this matter but was always being replied in that rude way. Its okay! There are so many things said that doesn't even fits into what im trying to put across. Either dun understand what i wrote or just want to vomit all out i dunno but i will just stop. Really dun understand, very first was so different from the last few. Hahas! Am i talking rubbish?! Its okay. Dun understand better...

Alright, I AM SO GOING TO GET MY DEGREE! Hahas. IM NOT JOKING. Actually, i've been talking alot on it. But whatever it is, i dun need others who are non-related to keep criticizing this && that. It is my choice && not yours! So what if you are great? You are just no better a human too. So keep your comments to yourself. 如果要照顾别人，先固好自己。
After O level, i have 3 roads to choose. 1? 2? or 3?? *stares*
Once in a lifetime. I haven even read that && it is going to start soon! WHAT IS THIS??! Hmmm, if this goes on, i really have to be ONCE IN A LIFETIME already! :S
When will you stop mixing with them...? Im really going to say that until one definite answer is given. I dunno && will never experience it && dun want to do it. Can you be like more ROMANTIC?? Out of all places. Okay, maybe is really not but still can choose other places right! Haiyo... Whatever le la. You just go do whatever you want. Not going to care le la. && thanks for helping out ;D

YES! TRANSPOSING ALL THE WAY~

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2010-04-30T21:44:00.000+08:00

Hellos.

Dun think you understand me && know me that well because you dunno anything at all! I dun think there's a need to reply you yesterday night because it's useless, no point at all. I dunno what's wrong with you! Didn't i tried to call u back that day?? You say i dun even bother to reply u. When i was in band, i still find u, isn't it?? It's not after i step down den i went to find you. You said you dunno how to react..? You dun need to react or anyth because it just shows what you really are thinking. && FYI, i never even have the thought that you are petty or whatsoever! I dunno what & who you heard it from, i dun care. I just want to say that, i never say im not in the wrong but the wrongs that you identified is not the wrongs that i did. && stop your "i thought" because i never say i dun want to bother. That day i said on MSN that we will talk about it another day BUT you simply said there's no need for it. That day i was really busy with my things. You just "thought" it your way && never even think for me. You still said i never think for you?? && i never said its your thought. Do you know that you are really selfish?! You just "i thought" & "i thought". Have you really asked how i felt?? What i am thinking?? I do admit that i neglected you all because of band. But you have ur friends i know that they will be there for u too. As for Meihui, she took the initiative to come closer despite all the busy schedules we all have. You said you can't go out like her and wait for us like she does, but have you ever think or thought that it is not because she's always with us?? It is the effort she's willing to cherish this friendship. Im not saying you are not but seriously, what have you done?? You didn't even allow us to step inside ur heart. When you are troubled, who do you find? Your current classmates, isn't it?? You may say that because we are busy && dun want to bother us but that's excuses. I really treated you as a real friend && was always prepared to share problems with you && willing to share ur problems too. Until this year... or should i say, just about a month or so..? You like ignoring us. When i called out to you, i dunno if you really showed attitude or what? or you never hear. But to me, you seems like you are ignoring me on purpose. I was really shocked && subsequently, you like ignoring us. That day u sent that 8pages of sms, seriously, i dunno how to reply u. && i dun really trust what u typed in that sms. To be frank with you. Because there were some parts that doesn't even reflect what im thinking. It's just "what you THINK" && not what i feel or think. See? That's what i meant when i say you are selfish. You only think about yourself. You only said what you wanted to say and just want to settle this matter asap. But do you know?? The way u behave like that, just made us feel more irritated and disgusted from the way u ignored us. As i said, i dunno if u really intended to ignore us but we only believe our eyes && that's what we saw and felt from you in school. So that sms just turns out hypocritical to me. I can't believe you. It's always different things that comes from you. Then just yesterday, in the morning u passed ard that small little piece of goodluck message. We thought u didn't dare to pass it to me maybe because i was too fierce or something so u asked JY to pass it to me. But do you know?? I was so touched although i was a little angry that u didnt pass it to me personally when i was just in front of u and u just gave Jy && Cihui. Whatever it is, I still kept the paper in my book hoping it will motivate me to study & do well for my exams. I was so happy and touched. I received that chinese message from Iling && i thought i should send this to my FRIENDS. It was meant to be a chain message WITHOUT ANY HIDDEN MEANING but u just replied me with "why do eu send me that msg" Do you know how hurtful i was and how shocked i was..? Of course you dunno. I was angry! Then i realised all those messages before that and all apologisation you did was ALL FAKE! So yesterday night, you sent me what you have been thinking and feeling all along. And FYI, "when will you stop mixing with them" IS NOT MEANT FOR YOU. Like i said, dun think u know me well && just "you thought". But i will admit that "these few years is nothing compared to that one year" is really written for u to see. You really dunno how much tears i have shed for this. For consecutive nights, i have been tearing to myself hopping nobody in my family see. I was more upset than angry that you have chosen ur current classmates over us. Im JEALOUS. Yea, im! What's worse is u said in yesterday's sms that what u said is nothing compared to what i did to u. But i have no idea what i did to u.. I haven been interacting with u for quite along. && what do you think you have the rights to say i order u around or whatsoever?! I dunno if that's for me to see but when i never even talk to u, how am i suppose to order u around and control u?! I dun understand what u wrote in ur blog and TWITTER. I dun even know u have twitter until Meihui told me. Dun go and scold her or whatever saying that she big mouth or whatever. At least she is concern about me and wants to help me by showing me ur TWITTER. I dunno you have so much to say about me but indeed, i have alot to say about you. I apologise for that "bitch" word during elite class. It didnt come from me but it led u to misunderstood me. Im sorry. Im being very sincere and serious here. I want to be frank with you and tell u how i feel and think about you. It is up to u to decide whatever you want. I just want to say my piece. Im really very angry now because your attitude was really bad when i didnt even showed you any attitude. If you are my friend, for these few years, you should know when i will show my attitude. && i dun think i need to SWEAR that i didn't showed you any attitude in school at all. Because i have a clear conscious. I am true to my heart && myself. && im glad that u enjoy ur current classmates and enjoy being with them. && just when did i restrict u?? i never even mention anyth about that. U like to be with them && you are happy with them, good for you. I will continue to be the current me too. && just to clear my mind, i want to let you know that i never ever wanted to throw away this friendship. Just yesterday && today, i've been crying during shower. Im not trying to gain ur sympathy and i dun need to. I just want to let you know, i have always still been treating you as my friend just that i will scold alot about you with Mh && Jy because the smses that u sent really made me angry and sad. && the way u react in school. But inside me, i still treated u as a real friend. I never wanted all these to happen. But since u sent me those smses ytd, it just shows me what you really are thinking and feeling. && i thank you for being so frank. I thought because you changed your thinkings towards me and gave me the goodluck paper, i felt it was okay for me to send chain messages to u too. But From this point onwards, i know what to do. You can continue with ur current life, and i will, and Jy, Mh will too. You are happier with them, i am happy for you. So, i wish you all the very best for your exams & O levels. && may you be happy as always.

People, GOODLUCK FOR YOUR EXAMS TOO! ;D

Till i post again,
Peijun :)

2010-04-24T18:44:00.001+08:00

Hahas. This is found in my facebook game—Treasure Isle. Reminds me of Deyi Military Band SYF’10. :)

Just wanted to post this because it tells alot of what im thinking.. So ya.

Alright. Off to do my things once again ;D

Till i post again,
♡Peijun :)

2010-04-24T16:11:00.001+08:00

Hellos.

I’ve been very naughty and lazy these days. I have no idea why && my attitude towards _____ is getting worse. I am just going to ignore them okay? But im just afraid it will worsen our relationship.

Whatever! I’ve got nothing to post. Just going to do my things now. Tonight can’t study due to celebration && so is tomorrow. Going for a concert at Singapore Conference Hall tmr, will not be able to study/do homework at night! DAMN! I really hate what im doing now! Just going to get rid of all these STUPID UNECESSARY THINGS! Going off now.

Till i post again,
♡Peijun :)

2010-04-20T20:59:00.000+08:00

Hellos.

School was okay. I thought i will be okay BUT it wasn't really that way... It wasn't that bad BUT i don't like it. I hate myself now...
Sitting at the front of the class isn't that good for certain reasons... NOT BREAKING OF SCHOOL RULES but some other things. *cries*

After EMaths mock paper, went to 422 w Junyang && Meihui. Had a good chat at 422 w the both of them :) Then off to hub with Mh && met Iling, Hanfei && Hehui. HAHAS! So funny. Promised iling to buy her that pair of earring. ILING SO PINK can! Hahas ;D
Took bus home... && i realised something... The new SBS transit bus with the electronic bus no. is actually extended! o.O Why i only realised it after i wrote the 应用文?! =.=

MANY THINGS TO DO TONIGHT! Im going off to do my HW && REVISION.

There are too much things going in my head. It may just explode one day... Can't stop thinking about it... WHY...? I just want to cry my hearts out BUT exam is just starting next week... :'(

Till i post again,
♡Peijun :)

2010-04-19T22:20:00.000+08:00

So colourful, just like my pens! Hahas!

Hellos!

Just some photos upload. I actually bought the SAME 2 NOTEBOOKS as Michelle! 果然是 partner! HAHAS!

Today didn't sleep in school AT ALL okay! Never sleep for the whole night && still able to stay awake in school && do SO MANY TESTS! But during Chinese test, abit tired alrd. Rested on the table while doing my paper! I even thought that i written something but turned out i was just drawing lines!! HAHAS! I even read a word as "糞" ! LOLS. So FUNNY!

Have a lot of work to be done tonight but i dun feel the urgency yet! Gosh. Listening to music, eating apples, blogging, doing English comprehension && chatting at the same time!!! How capable ar huh! Can multi-task =.=

Anyway, just wanted to say something: MEIHUI, GRACE. WE CAN DO IT! Single pointer, as easy as ABC! ;D ALL THE WAY.

Till i post again,

♡Peijun :)

2010-04-19T04:43:00.000+08:00

Hellos.

OMG! I did it!!!
BUT... i just gave up on amaths. Didn't complete it && dunno how to do... Wasn't very satisfied with my performance BUT at least i attempted to study! :D

Off to shower now...

Till i post again,
♡Peijun :)

2010-04-18T17:46:00.000+08:00

Hellos.

Went studying with MH yesterday. Can be more productive la.. Hahas!
According to Miss Chew, i am more PLAYFUL && CHEEKIER now. :X && She said that its good cos im out of the quiet && guaii zone... =.= Im not playful or cheeky la.. LOLS! Im so hardworking && quiet please... :P

You can do it, SO AM I! Miss chew said that its possible... For a deyian to get 3points for Os. Of course 3 points for me is impossible because i've got no higher chinese to minus 2 points la. The minimum i can get is only 4 points la... Hahas! Aiming for a single digit for my Os, I CAN DO IT, so does MEIHUI && GRACE! WE CAN DO IT, girls!!!!

Praying is no use la, so please la.. Get a life... Its how much effort YOU put in ok! Not trying to criticise any religion but its really the hardwork and effort you put in. It is not just by praying you can get ur single pointer...

Till i post again,
♡Peijun :)

2010-04-16T17:52:00.001+08:00

Hellos.

Damn. Been blogging for the past few days. Seriously, i have no idea what's wrong with me recently. I have not been doing my homework && handing in hw promptly. && instead, i just sleep at night instead of doing hw && i just hack care whether if i complete or not. D:
THIS IS VERY BAD! Gosh. Wondering what i've done for these few days... Grrr! But...
tomorrow will be really different! I assure!!!! Correct, Meihui?!!! HAHAS! Yes, going to library to study!
No distractions, esp from computer && MSN! KILLER = MSN && FACEBOOK!! LOLS.

Anyway, i have given up on my dream. A very difficult decision that had me days && nights of deep thinking. Feel very down && sad but guess nobody can really understand it... It mean so much to me && now i have to let it go. For these few years... I have been working towards it... Guess i just dun have the capability to do it. Just by looking at the criteria, i can't get it. I need to go to a school! I DON'T HAVE! With that DAMN DIPLOMA isn't enough!!! WTH did i worked so hard for..?! Compared to ________ ___, im so far apart. Well, i dun even have my fundamentals strongly built. Im just not cut out for it. DAMN! I JUST GIVE UP ON IT! F***! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Till i post again,
♡Peijun :)

2010-04-14T19:06:00.002+08:00

Hellos.

These few days was really bad for me. Keep having disturbing matters bothering && hindering me. Don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe TOO STRESS uh. Hahas. But no, i felt the stress but im not taking any action. I've zilch idea what im doing. Been feeling damn sleepy lately. Dunno what's wrong with me also! Damn. I missed 2008 where i can just sit still && study through. Can make all notes just like this. 2009 also, making notes and doing revision was like nothing to me but i dunno what happened to me this year... REALLY! I really really have no idea what life-threatening thing i met or whatever!

*DAMN! I missed those times when im in military band! && those times in symphonic band... :X

Till i post again,
♡Peijun :)

2010-04-09T00:06:00.000+08:00

HELLOs!

Omg. It has been so long since i posted. Hahas! I can post now because i have to stay up till i finish my 2CHINESE COMPO && 1 CHINESE COMPRE... Plus the chinese compre from the textbook de. So since im going to have to stay up so late, den might as well take the chance && post. Doesn't make a great difference by spending another few more minutes anyway...

School has been alright so far, just that i cant keep up with AMaths. I NEED MORE TIME!!! I haven fully grasp the concept of the previous chapter den have to move on. So im like 50 50. I can't even memorise the formulas... How...?! PLUS, POA TEST TODAY MADE ME FEEL WORSE!
Ytd went for piano lesson. Glad that you understand i have Os this year but that isn't an excuse for me to not practice for my exam too. Although im taking the exam next year, but spending 3months++ just on 2 pages and not even perfect it, i feel guilty after what you said plus i still have one more page && 2 more pieces :( What you said is right, each day practice one bar, 3 months, i can do 90 bars alrd && that's like the full piece... But what am i doing?! The theme can't even be heard for that 2 solid pages from me after so many months............

I need to get back to work already. Midyear is just 20 days away. I feel suffocated. This weekend, need to revise hard! OH! Saturday is Military Band's SYF! OMG! Im so excited can!!! Can't wait till Saturday! ALL THE BEST DEYI MILITARY BAND! YOU CAN DO IT! ALL 3 AWARDS! YES, BELONGS TO YOU!!!

Till i post again,
♡Peijun :)

2010-02-28T19:21:00.000+08:00

MySpace Codes
Make Love Letters at Profile-Comments.com

2010-02-27T16:25:00.000+08:00

Hellos.

Went SHOPPING yesterday! Went Pizza Hut with my dajie && my meimei. Went AMK Hub to shop && then to J8. Bought a dress and a shirt for my meimei. Hahas. She looks really nice in that yellow dress. LOLs. I bought a top and a cardi. Was really tired after we got back home.

Going to visit relative's house later in the night. *Reluctant* but no choice... :(
Didnt do anything for today. Guess i'll be busy tomorrow... Oh, and im looking forward to the level camp(for the first time) but to 9pm is really !@#$%^&*)__)(*&^%$#@

I LOVE THE NEOPRINT THAT WE TOOK YTD! ;D

2010-02-26T01:56:00.000+08:00

Im wondering what's happening... Knowing that it is wrong but still went on.
How i wished that everything can start from the beginning again. I will never walk/take that path ever again. I just felt that i needed some more time but time waits for no man. How true is that?? I guess the answer is obvious enough...

My worst fear, its almost here...
2 steps solution: STOP && PRAY :(

2010-02-23T16:52:00.000+08:00

Hellos.

I can finally post after quite a long while. Many things happened recently, as usual la..

You are not the same to me anymore BUT i will not forget you...

Okay. Got to study for TESTSssss. 加油everyone!

2010-02-19T18:17:00.002+08:00

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I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! 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I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!

2010-02-12T22:02:00.000+08:00

HELLOs. It's been so LONGGGG since i posted && i mean a proper post. Hahas. Many things happened recently. But im just gg to FORGIVE BUT NOT FORGET && keep moving forward. Not gg to care about how others think of it or anything. I will just do my part and fulfill my duties.

The CNY celebration today was quite nice i can say. Hahas. Interesting! But still, i hate XXX XXXXX XXXX. Value-added?! People are just so selfish. Keep on pushing but some ppl may be at their brink. Not everyone has the same capability or ability. If we want to work hard, WE WILL. What if there's ppl left behind...? No one is forgotten or left behind... How true is that?? I don't believe it at all! && one more thing. Don't think you can look down on us because you can't! All the achievements, do you think there will be any w/o US?! Dream on... && i think ur dreams will get "sweeter && sweeter". I hate that SMUG look on your face && that irritating eyes of yours...

*Above content is offensive BUT i have to say what i want to say.

Have been sleeping before 12am the past 3 nights. && realised that i am not so focused if i sleep earlier =.=
Today is so SUCKY and UNLUCKY! Damn my SIMcard.

SO GOING TO ENJOY THE NEXT FEW DAYS. THE NIGHTS THAT I DO NOT NEED TO RUSH HW AND ALL IS SO RELAXING AND NICE! ;D

2010-02-10T18:53:00.000+08:00

2010-01-30T00:33:00.000+08:00

2010-01-21T19:54:00.000+08:00

I have been feeling the same DAMN FREAKING feelings for weeks! Who truly understand this feeling? Only those who have went through it will know but different people will experience different types of situation and therefore, different perspectives. I just dread going to school now... The criticisms, the comments... It just hurts so bad. In class, and just in school, its all the same...

I wonder if i am yawning or TEARING? I cant differentiate what is what anymore...

2010-01-20T19:20:00.003+08:00

REALITY. I HATE IT

“总有一天我一定会证明给我自己”

Walked home with Kim. It was kind of nice. It's been a while since we walked home together :) The feeling... indescribable.

Pillows && toilet have become my favourites...

2010-01-19T21:16:00.000+08:00

STORY OF PENCIL. I LOVE IT.

Met w ACCIDENT. Not me but my parents and my younger sister. Lucky nothing happened. My younger sister hurt her waist a little && was given one day MC.
Today nothing much happened i guess. Just hope it turn better. Im tired of doing Amaths! SO TIRED! Tmr is the qualifying test... *sigh* Hope to do my best. Hope to PASS too! But... haiz... Will just give my best shot. Off to do revision. Bye!

2010-01-17T20:56:00.000+08:00

I know i am not the only one who is busy and have other commitments but every one have different expectations and all. Don't compare me with you. I am much different from you.
Take a look at yourself first before BS-ing anything.

Tired of arranging and scheduling... Want to take a break but this is just the starting :X

2010-01-16T21:42:00.001+08:00

I REALLY DON'T LIKE TO TALK && when im tired, PLEASE DON'T TALK TO ME.
&& when i choose not to talk, DON'T TALK TO ME EITHER.

Just leave me alone...

2010-01-16T12:51:00.001+08:00

TanPeijun, just carry on with your life && aim towards your goal.

*How TRUE is that... *

2010-01-15T19:40:00.000+08:00

I dunno what im doing either. Everything seems like a nightmare.
I can't take it anymore... Im suffocating! Please stop it, i am also a human being. && i am very sure, i am not wrong!

2010-01-14T20:41:00.003+08:00

I never ever wanted all these to happen. Just go back to where i came from... I don't want any other things BUT my happy life.

YOU! I seriously hate you...

2010-01-13T23:51:00.000+08:00

I think i should talk lesser. It will cause less pain and everyone will be happy.

*If you think you want to remain in that way, go on because i wont care. Settle your own personal desires before talking to me. I have no time to talk to a person who simply just waste their lifetime doing stupid things.

2010-01-12T01:05:00.000+08:00

Really want to get out of this SUPER BAD & MEAN part of me. I really want to just ignore everything, if possible. What made me VERY HAPPY today was the part where i get to teach, FINALLY... Very different from the rest BUT i guess it's of the NEW ENVIRONMENT. Hope this will last but i know sooner or later, before I know, the whole group is in CHAOS again. *sigh*
Let's see... I have violated some of my own rules and ya... I guess there should be severe punishment for myself! Really disappointed in myself and i really need to get out of that deep hole. I hope i didn't go too deep if not i will not be able to save myself too. *sigh*

All my plans for this year, i have not met any of it. Partly is because of band schedule of last week. I feel totally exhausted now. Yea, it's just the first week and how about the rest?? O levels? LOLS! What you said was right. It's just the first week, && how am i suppose to carry on for the next few months?! If i am tired now, what will happen to the rest of my days... I really dare not think anymore. I want to take one step at a time but will time permit? Felt hopeless for a moment. Gonna gather myself up and continue! NO GIVING UP!

2010-01-10T18:51:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the Orientation. Very TIRED but experienced a lot. Turned out to be a nice one, not that bad afterall. Went POPEYE to had lunch && bought a storybook from the popular. Wanted to go home but went Orchard to meet my sister to collect my exam results instead. I almost cried in the crowded mrt station @ Orchard. My sister told me i FAILED my piano exam, and only got 55 marks & my younger sis got 58 marks. I was like... ALMOST cried. Waited for her to come to the station. I wanted to see the results with my own eyes && WTH. She tricked me!!! I got 78/100 okay! Got a MERIT & was so HAPPY. Then we went Taka to buy some food and took a cab back to AMK hub. Went Fairprice to stock up our junk food! LOLs. Took 261 home and i was really really tired. Fell asleep while chatting online. I am so SORRY.

YESSSSSSSSSSS! ;D Grade 8, HERE I COMEEEEEEEEEEE~
YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!!

2010-01-02T22:27:00.000+08:00

1 MORE DAY to school reopen...

Homework not completed && not prepared and ready for SCHOOL '10. Life has been a torture recently... *Sigh*
How i wish TIME can FREEZE IMMEDIATELY && never continue until im done with my things. Some people can do last minute work because they are not like me. Even if u give me one more day, i doubt i can complete my work either. I am trying very hard already but not only i got sidetracked, i also became lazier and lazier, day by day... Grew tired and even more tired!

I really felt better when you talked to me. REALLY. Thanks so much ;D
Indebted.

2010-01-01T17:53:00.000+08:00

Some photos from the LAST YEAR! Hahas ;D

2010-01-01T11:53:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010! ;D

I want to be a MORE HARDWORKING PERSON. Cannot be the lazy me anymore && MUST LEARN HOW TO MULTI-TASK! Hahas! The most tiring thing is... MY HOMEWORK NOT DONE YET && how many more days to school reopen?? 2 MORE DAYS and i can say that, I AM VERY SURE I WONT BE ABLE TO COMPLETE by then...

Alright... like what i said, i must spend this 2 nights wisely! NO MORE MOVIES & TVs!!!
What a good way to start my new year... =.=

2009-12-31T21:06:00.001+08:00

I AM VERYYYYYYY TIREDDDDDDDDDD :(

These few weeks have been very busy with band & hardly touch my homework. School starting next Monday & I have not even complete 1/4 of my homework. I am going to continue with my homework tonight, like how i prepare for my EOY... Will be spending this few nights to finish up all my homework. Hope can finish it && i saw the new timetable... Eeee! Seriously, i kind of don't like our Co-form but never mind la.. Form teacher is not him okay le! HAAHS!

I am still VERY TIRED after sleeping so long. Yesterday i dozed off while standing in the bus on my way home && when i reached home, after awhile... i went into bed and slept till 2.50am... Woke up and then 3am ++ went back to sleep &&&&&& only woke up at 11++ this morning. Then in the afternoon, i went to sleep again! From 4+ or 5+ sleep until 7pm ++ I feel like a PIG! But, im still tired... Like no use even though i fall asleep naturally and rest so much! ARGH. Don't like my way of living now.. Like wasting so much time on sleeping though sleep is not something i can control.

Whatever it is just hope 2010 will be a better year && i will be a BETTER PERSON ;D
Cannot be like what i am now.. will be a TOTAL FAILURE!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVE ;D

2009-12-29T02:05:00.000+08:00

You don't see how fortunate you are. The first thing she thought of is always you. She did so much && sacrificed so much because of who?! Don't you feel a need to RESPECT her decision && not block her way??

Whatever i do is not for the sake of doing it. It's because i ENJOY it despite the difficult times. I will just persevere && run to the ending point without turning back...

Feeling SICK. Stupid... Can't even take some hardships!

2009-12-26T01:53:00.000+08:00

Christmas eve went to cousin house for family gathering. I was not my usual self. I drank so much && didnt get drunk. Stayed overnight at her house. Reached home at around 5.45am && went to bed at 6am!!! Hahas! It was SO FUN eh.

Got to start my engine and do my homework. I guess no more late nights & videos & TVs & games. No more doing unnecessary things too.. I need to reset my sleeping time and all.
Got to enter my lalaland already!!! Tomorrow meeting Exco 0845 @ my house bus stop there. They coming to my house to finish up everything but I doubt can finish. It's quite difficult to accomplish. HOWEVER, nothing is impossible. If we really plan and do everything and not sidetrack, confirm can do it!!! YES. okay, am sleeping... zzzzzZZZZZZ

2009-12-24T15:04:00.000+08:00

Yesterday went to meet Exco at AMK Interchange but only TY turned up. Then we went off to Popular first to get the materials & B joined in later. Bought JUNK FOOD && took 261 to my house. We kind of stared at the materials. Didnt get started. Huijun came after that and followed by Shirley(sorry, you were lost somewhere!). We completed the BOOKLETS but we are still left with TONS of work to be done by MONDAY?! Oh no... I think we need to meet up during weekend?? Confirm not enough time already!!!

Been practicing the same piece over and over again && im afraid i cant get it by MONDAY. Feel a little stressed out because i really want to put up a nice one. A meaningful song on a meaningful event & for meaningful people. I hope i can do my very best and give my very best && enjoy myself (but i think there will be more to it).
However, there's a little problem because.... ....

Off to continue with my tasks. && i dunno what to do with it :(

2009-12-23T02:24:00.000+08:00

IT'S SO F-U-N. Went for piano lesson in the morning and went off to meet the Exco after that to have lunch @ POPEYE && start to do our stuff. Went to library cafe instead and we got started. Not bad although we are really behind time. Hahas!

BROWNIE BROWNIE BROWNIE BROWNIE BROWNIE! Hahas.

Went to have DINNER at YCK market && met my aunt and her friend there. Then, we headed off for the concert at YCKSS. My surname became "Pan"! Hahas. PAN PEIJUN. So funny! After concert went Chomp Chomp to have dessert (with MRS FOO!) -- Strawberry Beancurd && Sea Coconut Jelly! ;D

The 6 of us- Huijun, Yongzhi, Solomon, Christopher, Aidil && me walked from Chomp Chomp to AMK. I was first to reach home cos walked past my house. They waited with me for the lift & went off. THANK YOU. Then they continued to AMK mrt that side to go home. IT's SO FUN to walk with you guys. SO COOL. HAHAS! We really came online to talk ar! Hahas. IT SO SUPER FUN. Reaching home so late && come online together to talk! Its really so... what do you call that??! Its really so "LIFE"! Hahas. Like so much life like that! HAHAS! Really love today!!!!

&& what's more exciting is...
When i reached home, nobody at living room den i went into the room. My mother, 2nd sister && meimei were in the room playing with UNO CARDS! laughs out loud! Then they asked me to join in. Played blakjack && daidi. Then after we played HEART ATTACK! So much fun! My mother blur blur de. Haahas. Den we were like shouting & it's like so late already! Today is SO FUNNY but SLEEPY, of course...

Alright. I think im going off soon. Tmr meeting EXCO 1030 @ Amk Interchange && THEY ARE COMING MY HOUSE! They are the 2nd to go my house. Friends hardly comes to my house. Hahas. Anyway, my house have nothing much la..

2009-12-21T19:45:00.000+08:00

Hellos.

Today is really super tired. Day started with DANCE. Couldn't really take it at the beginning but after that became more awake ar. HAHAS! Was quite hyper throughout the whole day, mostly la.

HUIJUN, if you happen to see this, this is for you :)
YOU ARE VERY STRONG! Hahas.

Took bus home. Oh my... I can't believe it, for the first time!!! I dozed off in the bus && HIT a man's shoulder beside me :X Then he turned and looked at me. I woke up and apologised and he gave the never mind look but i was like .... OH MY GOD~! Luckily, i only "touched" him abit, never fall to him!!! If not sure very paiseh lor! SUPER DUPER TIRED.
JUN cubeS are LACK OF SLEEP. We should sleep earlier tonight. Oh, and i realised i nv update my events list under my tagboard for a very long time. HAAHS! Anyway, tomorrow going to watch YCK Band concert with the EXCO. Very much looking forward to their band's perf. :D

2009-12-19T13:18:00.000+08:00

Time is never enough & i dun understand what you're thinking. It's just getting me irritated & pissed off. TOTALLY CRAP!
I will never repeat the same stupid mistake again..

Having aches all over my body and i feel sick! Flu & a little pain at my throat.

2009-12-17T19:38:00.000+08:00

Hellos.
Back from SHOPPING! Hahas. SHOPPED FOR BOOKS :) Bought a non-fiction book- I did tell, I did... && went to the library and borrowed 4 other books; one of them is my sister's de. I also bought some STATIONARIES. Have been going popular(our THIRD HOME) very frequently these days. HAHAS! Spent quite a lot today. Spending money and going out for shopping and reading books is a good way to BE HAPPY ;D I feel better now. I think tomorrow i am going to buy storybooks again. HAHAS! SO F-U-N :) Oh no, i sounded so pervert! LOLs.

Practiced piano today. The pieces are SO DIFFICULT! I still cannot get it :( So MANY CHORDS! I hate chords!!! Anyway, i was practicing other pieces that i like too. HAAHS!
Alright, going off to read my books! Have to complete reading all the books by this week, if not no time to complete my homework already! Hahas. Suddenly have the study mood, actually should be READING MODE! hahas.

HAD A GREAT BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR! I LIKE MY 15TH BIRTHDAY. THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE CAKE & BIRTHDAY SONGSSSS IN PUBLIC. REALLY ENJOYED MYSELF :) OH! BRANDON, THANKS SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME TO BEAUTY MY HANDS WITH THE CREAM! hahas. Photos will be uploaded at a later time :)

2009-12-17T13:27:00.000+08:00

I am so ANGRY of myself for being so angry of you. I am so IRRITATED by myself for being so irritated by you. I dunno since when you've such great impacts on me BUT seeing you makes my blood boils. Seeing you, i feel so useless & dumb. With you, i feel so miserable... Talking to you, i feel so EXTRA. Interacting with you, i feel so SMALL. Standing with you, i just feel that i shouldn't be there in the first place.

I have not read any storybooks yet && i am only left with 2 weeks before school starts. What the hell am i doing now?! My homework are not done and here i am doing things that are unnecessary. CLEVER me, i will never get it done before school starts!

Currently feel so pissed off!

2009-12-13T23:44:00.002+08:00

I am really really really very sorry for what i've did. I really should not have said so much, knowing that you are quite sensitive towards that matter. I really regret telling you that. Im SORRY :(

I really dunno what else to post. Too many things happening recently. I really have no idea on what i should do. Im in a dilemma now. Should i or should i not?? Currently feeling alot inside me... I really dunno!

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Damn. I really really hate this feeling so much till the point that i can't explain!!!

1hr 15 mins later... Happy?? OF COURSE, not... :X

2009-12-12T01:23:00.000+08:00

Had SO MUCH FUN! STRIKE. SPARE. TURKEY. Turkey at FAIRPRICE! Lols.

Spaghetti. Subway. SwissRoll. GreenTea. Orange. Apple. Fishball Noodle. Wii (:

Boxing. Tennis. Cooking mama. Baseball. Golf. SuperMario.

TIRING but F-U-N!!!

Physiotherapy~~ HAHAS!!!!!!

Im going to S-L-E-E-P.

*Im sorry. I said too much and caused u to recall back all those sadness... :(

2009-12-10T23:30:00.000+08:00

Hahas! So FUN today... Very sleepy now. Shall post another time :)
"BOXING" is really TIRING but F-U-N! ;D

2009-12-08T19:15:00.000+08:00

Hellos.

Bought a new flats today. Not really very nice but at least did shopping. Hahas ;D Went Andersens and shared cake with my sister. Hmm, should choose cheesecake instead. LOLs. It was not really nice.. Alright. Then went home... Shall not elaborate much about my exam, i'll wait till next year when i receive my results.

I've got to start revising but im still in holiday mood. Cant change to STUDY MODE. hahas. Shall try to study eh.. I MUST. Hahas...

2009-12-06T22:59:00.002+08:00

2009-12-05T23:05:00.000+08:00

The SNOWY SNOWY; STARRY STARRY backdrop.

0.1.2.3.4.5!

Today had SO MUCH fun! Went to Terminal 3. Totally photo shooting today BUT it was really really very fun! Hahas ;D

Very sleepy and tired now. Shall continue my post another time. NIGHT!

2009-11-29T22:44:00.000+08:00

Tmr is the NCO camp. Its the 1st Symphonic NCO camp organised by OUR VERY OWN EX MEMBERs! Yeah!!!!! Im so excited BUT also feeling NERVOUS?! I dunno what's wrong with me.. Hahas. I think before any camp i will feel that way. So i guess its nothing much?? Hahas.

Yesterday went to Paragon for my piano testing. Hmmm, not used to that piano. The sound is different too. Although its not the first time having exam BUT compared to the sound that i hear every day && the different sounds that i hear each year during exam, ITS STILL FEEL VERY WEIRD AND DIFFERENT TO ME. Hahas. But i guess i will pull through. Just have to be more careful! Im so nervous about the exam. It seems that im making a BIG FUSS over my piano exam BUT this year is very different. I dont usually keep talking about my piano exam BUT it seems that this year, i've been talking about it over and over again. Like, im trying to.... NEVERMIND. Hahas. It will soon be over!!!

Shall go pack my camp things now && rest earlier. hahas.